"You'll make a change...I see it." People are crazy. Really? Yes. Tonight I was supposed to do a lot of things, like write my 2nd roughdraft, do some laundry, clean my room, vacuum, etc. etc. I haven't done much. Much of anything. I smoked. My ambition abandoned me. Left me in the ditch. M's has a few beers tonight. She's smiling. She's happy. As happy as she can get on alcohol. I haven't had any alcohol since, well last week. Lucky me! Seriously though, I don't miss it. Drinking. Smoking (I might, but eventually I won't.) Pigging out. Etc. Etc. I have a lot of nasty little habits lurking about. *BEWARE* I don't feel like doing anything right now. I don't feel like sitting here. I don't feel like watching television. I don't feel like writing. Or reading. Or eating. Or masterbating. I don't feel like doing anything. I wonder how long I'll last this semester before I give in and stop doing work. Or at least thinking about doing work. Tomorrow I might not see P, so I am okay. There's always a chance. *Crosses fingers and toes* Oh I don't know. I'm sitting online right now wishing he would get on, but he won't. I know that deep down inside. I just like to live in my own little "Denial-ville." "There coming to take me away HA HA..." Menu for today: 1 bowl of cereal. 1 green apple. 2 small bowls of anitpasto. Not too bad I don't think. An improvement for sure. I am going to lose weight damnit. I will. I shall. I am. "I fell into a burnin' ring of fire...I went down, down, down and the flames went higher...and it burns, burns, burns...that ring of fire, that ring of fire." DFN.