death is taking its toll. cashing in the chips. slowly. as i watch. she is dying. whithering away. like some rose. long forgotten. as i watch. she is losing control. falling to pieces. falling apart. as i watch. my mother. is going away. slowly. a small shadow now remains. a small piece of her. her body is becoming just a shell. soon it will be empty. and o. how it hurts my heart. o it hurts. and hurts. and hurts. and HURTS. i am breaking inside. i am breaking like a thousand year old glass. shattering against some silent wall. lost in some dark cave. i am breaking. o. how. i am. breaking. i watch as she loses all she's had. i watch and watch and watch and watch. you don't know. unless you've been here. to this level of hell. you don't know. unless you've been here. you don't know. what it's like. to watch. the one you love. fall apart. piece by piece. mind and body and desperate soul. if i could burn down heaven. i would. if i could freeze over hell. i would. i hate this envitable thing. i hate this death thing. i hate it all. so badly. i am misery. i am in pain. she is misery. she is in pain. o. my. heart. begs. for. mercy. it is easy to pretend. to forget. for a moment. or two. or three. but i wake. my eyes come back. reality comes a new. it all comes back. hurling towards my brain. and heart. like a comet. bursting through my soul. don't you see. how sad. how lonely. how fucking sad. the whole situation is. how fucking sad. it all is. how fucking disappointing. dfn.