[paper or plastic] man o man. here i am. my first REAL day of work. 2 until 11 in the p.m. o. pity me. as i do myself. i hate working. indeed. so let's see. nothing's really new with me. bein' what i gotta be. (insert beat box noises here) or move on. that's what i'm doing. let all the old, stale shit go. and bringin' on the new. THE NEW AND IMPROVED. why not? can't keep falling back behind. hoping to catch up later. my life's been a blurr for 22 years. i live in a dream. and i only wake so often. (and i mean really wake) it's like when you're driving down an empty road. watching the clouds in the blue sky above you. and you realize that this journey is real. that this whole fucking situation is truly going down. the times when you wake. i apparently need to stay awake more often. well learn how to anyways. i like driftin' about and feelin' nothing. but i'm making myself suffer more. CAN'T CONTROL THE FATE. play the hand your dealt with. and GOD help you if you don't know shit about playing cards. cause poker ain't easy. so anyways. i'm fucking rambling. i'm nervous about not seeing him again. i got a bad feeling. i said "call me" but he never will. and i'll never call him. but i'm not going to worry about it. this is how shit goes. can't control nothing. gotta sit back, relax, and let it all happen. (yep) so i guess now i better get some clothes and throw'em in the laundry. i have nothing clean. NOTHING! o well. i am off to wash my undies. please leave a message at the fucking beep. BEEP! "I would do anything for you...except that." DFN.