I often wonder if it is too late to change. I often wonder if I am capable of change. Lately my life has been like an obstacle course. Ups and downs. More downs than ups. I wonder if I can make it in this big ol' world. I wonder if I can survive myself. I have spent too much of my time concentrating on everyone else around me. I have let myself go. I have let my life fall apart. I have learned, painfully, that one cannot change unless one makes an effort to change. I am just another piece to this fantastic puzzle of life. We are all pieces. We find our place eventually. I hope. Patrick and Keith are not the end nor the beginning of my life. Alpha Omega. From beginning to end it is and has always depended on me. Personal revelations always come after the storm. After the trouble. 20/20 hind sight. I don't have to be perfect to love myself. No one's perfect. No matter how hard one tries one cannot reach perfection. I guess I don't know. All I do know is that I need to start over. And I am. Starting now. I am done for now.