Woke up early again, 2ish, didn't get back to sleep until 8ish. Bored now. Feeling better than I have in the past few days. I need to go out and do something, go bar hopping or clubbing or something. Been nights since I been out among the fun. Some people are all about getting high. I thought I kinda left all that behind. Than again I am not one to fight temptation. Break is over in a matter of days. I figure I might as well enjoy my time while I still have some. To be sober or to get lit, is the main question I deal with on a brutal daily basis. I don't know and I'm sure know one else does. Well I'm not sure what to do now. The issue of my virginity was raised again by a friend. It still surprises me that people react the way they do. I don't really know why I'm 'saving' myself, I guess I am just waiting for the right guy, not just some random idiot who is cute, charming, and moronic. I don't know. But just because a 21 yr old is a virgin does not mean that, that 21 yr old is a lesbian or gay. Everytime you turn down a loser they assume the worst. my mom and step father argue a lot, before it used to be constantly. i would be gettin blazed upstairs in my attic room, while below me they would fling insults and sometimes eating utensils, furniture, or beer cans at one another. i'm 21 and this shouldn't bother me, but it does. mainly because i want to be out of here already. i have 1.5 yrs of college left and at times I don't know if my sanity will hold up. i wish i could've moved out sooner, but with limited cash funds that was impossible. i love my mom and i tolerate my step father, but if given the chance i would leave in a heart beat. i don't even wanna finish college, I know that sounds ridiculous, but all i really want in my life is to get in the car and drive fast and as far away as possible. I can't end up becoming one of those business suites or stay at home moms. that's not my kind of dream. All I want is to head on out and see what life is all about. Eventually I will do this, it's just the waiting that's driving me nuts.