I have decided, unfortunately, that I am some what homely. I think I may have what some call 'dog syndrome.' Of course people say I'm pretty and all that, but I think it is time for me to honestly disagree. I seem to have a knack for repelling the opposite sex. So much so that half, if not all, of my family is convinced that I am a lesbian. A lesbian? Yes, I find that assumption disturbing. Just because I happen to be a 21 year old virgin who has never even had a boyfriend, I mean that makes me a lesbian? I don't know. I've known and liked lots of guys, but none of them have what I am really looking for. They have it half way, but half isn't good enough for me. Maybe I'm too picky. Maybe I'm not picky enough. Maybe I finally just need to get laid. Yes. Maybe that would help. Although I can't see me actually sharing myself with someone I have no feelings for. Maybe I'm wrong in waiting for the right one. Maybe there is no right one for me. Maybe it's all some strange illusion I have led myself to believe. Yes. Maybe that's it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ stronger than any fire's flame deeper than any ocean my love for you sweet morning whispers soft gentle kisses my love for you louder than thunder brighter than lightining my love for you always completely true always completely yours my love for you ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now if only finding the right guy were as easy as writing the right poem, I would be submerged in men. Unfortunately. This is not the case. So I have come to the conclusion that I am and have always been ugly. Fugly. Mugly. Smugly. Anything having to do with the word or meaning of ugly. Than again, maybe I'm all wrong about everything. Maybe waiting is all I have. Maybe some day it will all pay off. All this heart ache. All this loneliness. All this emotional turmoil. All of these useless crushes. I seen Keith again today. This is the 3 time in a row. I'm not looking forward to the next time. Seeing him only reminds me of the silly crushes I have. It hurts when you can't have someone you like. It hurts even more when you can't put them out of your mind. O well, he has a girl. I'm sure she's pretty. Unlike me. I'm done.