to do now. after all of the jumbled shit. of life. i am exhausted. tossed out. and thrown away. like garbage. i am dirty. lost. hurting. and enraged. i can't help it. nothing feels real. reality is 99% of one's own perception. she will come back? she will? she won't? she can't? ozzy osbourne. and tom petty. capture my heart ache. momma i'm comin home. is all i need to say. and i'm sorry. for all of the tears. and pain. but i have lost. the only. thing. i had. worth loving. and i wish i had arms to cuddle into. to wrap around me. and hold me for a bit. while the ache runs through my body. another millionth time. what can i do? how can i get over it? so easily. i can't. my world now lies in ruins. crashed. crushed. creamed. down. to nothing. i wish i could let it go. and think of other things. but my mind. and heart. and soul. just can't seem to heal. as easily. as the world around me. fuck you world. fuck you death. i could've done something. and the guilt eats away. i want to scream. i want to hit. i want to punch. i want to cry. i want to sleep. i want to die. i want to rest. but. i can't.