i havent written in this like THIS for quite some time now. i cant help it though i need to vent a bit. so why not do it here where ive been doing it for some time now. dont lose me now. -------------------- bad news. bad things are coming. my white boyfriend doth reappear again and this time with more of a punch. i have too many willing partners this go around. it makes me nervous in a weird uncomfortable way. its becoming too ordinary. not dangerous and surprising anymore but strong and relaxed and STEADY. id like to think ill say no. but. i only know ill say yes. too easily. too willingly. id like to think though. that i can escape the BLOW to my head. the nervous gut feeling. the BUTTERFLIES. and my enjoying them. the anticipation is always better then the actual high. because. the suspense brings more out of you. with less consequence until the LINE is actually drawn. my strange love affair with certain people is getting heavier to bear or bare. id like to think. i was meant for all of this. that this isnt some movie where in the end the character crashes. or burns. or fucks up so royally that forgiveness becomes nothing but an unattainable want. a need. "we will see how this progresses" -------------------- ill toss caution to the wind. its friday the 13th. one of my very few favorite days. "lets wait and see how this progresses" some times i think i could rewind time and write bad lyrics for some bad but popular 80s band. or i could possibly do a little TECHNO on the side. it never has to make sense. not really. and i make about as much sense as nothing. "ACTION IS THE ENEMY OF THOUGH" depending on the action. ----------------------------- be gentle on me universe for i know not what i do. and regret it all eventually.