it isn't easy watching someone you love. and care for. being abused and mistreated. dani. she has nowhere to go. and nothing to look forward too. angel is a limitation. a boundary. an obstacle. unfortunately so. tm speaks and spits and hits and kicks. and he calls 911 as a diversion from the truth. i'd like to kick his face in. twist him about and make him feel. like he makes others feel. justice. it isn't easy. when the fires start burning. and everything is igniting around you. one by one. they're all fading away. and it's all coming so close to home. my home. me. i have to stop now. recollect my thoughts. and remain out of dodgy situations. the shit is getting too deep. and my cost is getting higher. i can't say no. and i don't mean yes. dani is at a dead end. trapped. beyond all rescue. i'd like to help. and ease it all away. i'd like to tell her just wait one more day. but one day. is one too many. and it's the end. no waiting. for there's nothing to wait for. i'd like to strike like a cobra. and make him feel my poison. if i had all to do over again. i'd do it much differently. i'd reaarange this game. and do what it is that i want to do now. i would've kissed this town goodbye. when i was 18. and made it on my own as far as i could go. i would've said goodbye to all these losers. and made something else. i would've invested more times in schemes. and such. plans. and plots. education of the way sometimes comes to late. i'm wiser now. but still indifferent. i wish i could do more than make stupid jokes and preach. i have nothing to give though. and less to earn. i don't like the way things are going lately. slowly about. changing. getting worse. if worse is possible. the positions are shifting. and one by one it's all falling apart. no longer are my pieces at peace. no longer are they waiting for a quick buck and a cheap high. too busy immersed in these bad lives. some times i believe i'm not stuck. i'm different. but now. i feel the same. and this makes me sad. and restless. and i just want to crawl back into bed and sleep a few. minutes. days. years. away. and wake up and have it all changed. for the better. for once. dfn.