I am. And always will be, pathetic. I talked to Pat in Grammar today. He's funny. Silly. Dude-ish. And attractive in some ways. I don't pretend to notice though. I don't pretend to care. It doesn't matter to him. I seen Keith today. We talked about nothing, mainly because we don't know anything about each other to talk about. He calls me lesbo. I call him freak and pimp. Jokes. We e mail each other now. It's weird. I'm never sure what to say. I seen that Mike (guy) too. I don't think his friend Keith (a different guy), likes me all that much. Mike is a silly guy. Silly. Annoying. Weird. Yet entertaining. I don't really know what to make of any of this shit happening. I am angry. Sad. Scared. Sad. Mournful. Confused. Lost. And scared. I am falling apart slowly. Inch by dreadful inch. On a lighter note. I stayed on my diet today. Day 1 has been a success. Hopefully Day 2 will be also. I am done for now.