i should be working harder then this but its saturday.

the love of my life is at the babysitters house. waiting for us to come grab her.

clifford.

this man.

my man.

my guy.

true love or not. my heart leans closer to not.

lust. old infatuation. simple pride and ego issues.

as is the roughdraft of my life.

always crossed and scratched out. never complete.

never ending.

i need change.

i need big change.

i need to let pettiness go.

i need to tell myself that i can trust him more then i can love him.

right now.

and he begs.

cries.

why dont you love me.

because.

at times.

you wear me out.

but.

you dont hear that when i say it either.

at times i wonder if he even remembers me?

why couldnt i have been more upfront with the one i was in love with.

before he too left.

and now.

here.

between a rock.

and a stone.