How is it that you do nothing and still impress? How is it that you walk around so unaware of the attention? The crowd following your every move. Every word. So much power in such small deeds. Small words. Actions. A hero in the eyes of the lost and abandoned. A hero in the eyes of the hurt and neglected. How is it you came to be? So beautiful, yet so horribly grotesque. So captivating, yet so horribly plain. The stories you tell, the poems you write, the way you walk into a room and smile. These things. These useless, meaningless things mean so much to so many. How is it possible that you are so unaware of your strength? Your undeniable power. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Doomed to be devious. To be different. To be unique to the fullest. Doomed to be alone. To be in pain. To be in rapture. Doomed to be the only one. The only one that understands. It all. Doomed to be done. To be gone. To be forgotten. Yet not. Never truly forgotten. To truly understand how everything works, yet incapable of sharing your knowledge. Written words could never capture. Speaking rantings forever that would never fully be understood. Doomed to know the unknowable. Doomed to be kept silent by your own lack of outlet. What it is I mean to say has no words to give it life. What it is I mean to explain has no place in your mind. No place in your soul. Nor heart. It all sounds the same to you. Crazy. Insane thoughts. Ramblings of a broken mind. Rantings of an angry heart. For this I cease to try. I cease to explain. If only now I could end this pain. This feeling of burden. Escape this cruel paradise of knowledge. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Today was like any other. I wanted to avoid both guys, but it only worked with K. I didn't see him at all. I'm torn about how I feel. Part of me wants to give him the shove and the other part just wants to see him more and more. I hate when I'm torn. Torn in two. Over something so small, so trivial. It's ridiculous. The same for my P crush. Useless. I will let go eventually. It takes time, I know. I'm well aware of how long it takes to train yourself into not doing something your heart wants to do so badly. I will do it though. I've trained myself with a million things so far. This will be just one more trick to add to the mix. Training yourself isn't hard. It's all about discipline and control over one's emotions. I'll be fine in all due time. Time. The one thing I know won't mess up. Time always passes. Time never slows down. Time comes. And time goes. The only thing in the world to be confident in. Time. Done for now.