"I don't need it." ~I want it. "I don't need it." ~I just want it. "I don't need it." ~I just really want it. "I don't need it." ~I just really fucking want it. Damn these things that I live for. Damn them all to firey hell. I can't seem to say 'NO' enough to myself. To the strong cravings. I try and I try and I try and I try. No luck. I have no luck. And no control. And no will power. And no sense. And no brain. Last night I bought some Bacardi Limon. It wasn't bad. It was actually pretty nice. Unfortunately. I can't seem to fight it no matter how hard I try. I'm addicting to feeling lit. Feeling high. Feeling gone. The problem is, is that I know people who love this feeling too. My 'PAST' people. They feed my need. I can't seem to escape them. For awhile it will all be quiet. I'll be dwelling in my loneliness. Than BOOM. They all come around again. Yanking at my nerves. Pulling at my afflictions. Opening my old wounds. Damnit. All I crave is change. Something new. Something nice. Freshness. It's getting stale here. Old and worn out. Played and replayed. Broken. I can't find the pieces anymore. I can't seem to complete the puzzle. I want out of this game. I feel like quitting my life. Exchanging it for a better one. Something more exciting. More appealing. More satisfying. *Sighs* I just don't know how. I don't know how to change anything. How to fix it all. Whining is becomming my favorite hobby. Bitching is my new trend. I do it wonderfully. I just want something. Done for now. Off to get nachos and rent movies. Off to try and not buy booze.