if youre literate you should read that book. drugs are nice. by lisa carver. by suckdog crea-tor. and its times like this that i feel alone. and happy. and frightened. and in wonder. LIFE WAS MEANT TO BE LIVED. to think i think i have a bad life. ive had hard times. but those times are my times. my burden to carry. because we need a story to tell. we all need an elaborate history. full of something to tell the world. and my story goes as follows. i was born. i had a mother who loved me. i had a father who left me. i had pets. i had welfare bought food. i had stepfathers. i had a mother who loved me. i had bad times with her. i had more good times with her. i had to go to college. i had to watch her die. i had to leave erie. and thats it in a nutshell. there is a poem about a man who lived in a coconut. he spent his entire life there. cramped up and tight. and when asked about it. his response was simple. but meant. he said. YOU SHOULD MEET MY BROTHERINLAW WHO LIVES IN AN ACORN. the point. the point is someone always has it worse. take the man who went mountain climbing. and the boulder fell on his arm. and for 6 days he waited. and waited. and knew he would probably die. and what did he do. he decided that instead of going out as nothing. and giving it all up. he'd cut his own cherished arm off. he decided his sacrifice was worth it. and the way i see it. I HAVENT HAD TO CUT ANYTHING OFF YET. so life cant be so bad. my point is for myself. to get it together. to put all of this emotion and skill and confidence into action. action is the enemy of thought. and the product of dedication. determination. i want to be some thing before i have no choice but to be nothing. a passed up thing. waiting to die. and not brave enough to cut my own arm off.