looking for a job is tedious work in itself. i should get paid for simply filling out 1000 applications. i wish. i would get hired soon. so i wouldn't have to leave. anytime soon. i've. decided. that. las vegas. is. where. i. want. to. hide. for. awhile. if. not. forever. but no. not forever because eventually i'd like to move on from here as well. but. if there is a place i plan on living for good. this is it. i'll return here. not back to pennsylvania. never back there. not for good. i've decided that i don't like anything back there. now that i think about it. i have nothing there. except for maybe danielle and angel. who i miss like crazy. inside and out. even though i believe she's a ho and a bitch and greedy. danielle is my only family. my only real family. through and through. and whether everyone else thinks she's a moron or a slut or an airhead. she isn't. not really. she's been fucked with and left to go it on her own. and it isn't her fault. and i do miss her. because i know if she was here. we'd own this town. i don't really miss anyone else. not really. there isn't anyone left for me to really miss. temporary people in my temporary life causing temporary waves until they permanently leave. and it's all the same really. thinking back on joe he wasn't ever very about anything. except himself. and his ideas. and criticizing because. that's just his way of dealing. and joel and tuggy and toni and matt and jon and alltheothersthere. they're all basically the same person. just shaped. differently. always concerned about themselves. never anything else. never thinking ahead to anything but erie. and temporary money in their permanently fucked lives. well that's all well and fine. i don't think i'll keep in touch with many back there. except for seventh street. and danielle. fuck the others. because they're fucked anyways. i do wish aimee hadn't turned out to be such a little bastard. but. she's family. i should've known better. you cannot trust any of the people i am related to by blood. because eventually they will flip out and cause you problems. it all comes back to knowing too many unreliable people. and they call me shifty. ha. owell. right now i have nothing better to do then vent about home. i feel dirty and need a shower asap. or a sap. i need more dreams.