AHA! ok so i got it... a path that makes sense. well.. when it comes to web development that is. Before i was trying to learn everything at once and getting pretty overwhelmed until i gave up altogether. I don't think I've opened a book in over 2 weeks. But now, i know... this is the order I will follow from now on.. HTML, CSS (know those already), DHTML and XML (familiar with those to an extent), then Javascript, PHP and/or ASP, MySQL, and then Java and/or C/C++. And then things like Ajax etc after all that. While learning SEO/SEM on the side for kicks. woot? But then again, I also want to get familiar with Dreamweaver, InDesign, and Illustrator... I don't plan on using Dreamweaver to create web pages because I prefer to hand code.. (at least i think i do) but i figure it doesn't hurt to learn it anyways. And is it just me or are people going head over heals for illustrator lately? might as well see what all the fuss is about. I wonder if we're still going to dinner with pdk and Adrienne on Tuesday... I haven't heard anything, i figure we are since no one canceled but.. after last week I'm not going to assume anything. I still haven't heard from Donovan or Elaine since they blew me off. And not to mention Talia.. among others. I'm a little over giving people the benefit of the doubt. Its annoying... yet liberating. more to come.. THAT'S what happens.. when your "hero" is a pathological loser.. I mean liar... And the stupid part... they are all going to end up like my aunt suzy. yeah i love her.. but she MOOCHES off EVERYONE. which is good for now.. right now its just grandma and ruben or whoever she lives with.. and of course her bf... but what about when grandma and grandpa aren't around? and we don't have 1 suzy but 5! suzies!! wanting to mooch their way through life... ???? what then? i'll tell you... the people they mooch from now will only be able to take so much.. its ok with 1 cuz its just 1... but with 4-5 moochers... they're going to cut the chord eventually. and where will they go then? of course... the ones they know who have their crap together.. the ones who aren't struggling to get by.. the successful people who aren't throwing their life down the drain like.. myself and tim, my aunt irene and uncle paul and well unfortunately that list includes my mother. and the pathetic thing is... they'll expect us to help. when their addictions get the best of them and they have nowhere else to turn. its bolagna sandwiches.. they dig the hole and we're going to have to dig them back out? its not an assumption.. its a prediction. history repeats itself. its just common sense. "i need help.. i want help" blah blah blah. right.. well i was willing to help. i was willing to be there. but I am not going to just allow them to get away with crap and then fix their problems when the time comes. its just a slap in the face to those of us who actually tried to be good people in life. who didn't give into peer pressure and drugs and sex and stupidity. its like it was all for nothing when people who do give in get things handed to them and walk through life acting entitled. THAT is being entitled, for those of you who don't know what it means (mom). that's why I'm just looking into it right now.. but I'm thinking of calling child services. They can deal with it if my grandma and suzy want to act like this is normal. And I could care less who gets upset about it. I'll tell my aunt suzy myself. Because this is just stupid. i absolutely do not agree with the way my mom raised me.. the overaggressive overprotective mentally abusive nonsense.. but the other side of the spectrum is just as bad if not worse. i think its funny how my mom ALWAYS has to disagree with me. She could say.. "i think blah is cool"... and then i can say "i think blah is cool too"... and as soon as she hears it she's like "oh well i don't really think blah is that great.. actually i don't like it at all." its like it was this huge thing yesterday she was going on and on about how she wanted to call social services but she hasn't because of such and whatever reasons.. but she was going on about how my aunt is committing fraud. and then today when we talked, i said i would call if no one else will and all of a sudden she was saying things like they wouldn't be able to do anything... its stupid how she is so adamant about something and as soon as i agree she is on the other side. uhg it pisses me off. like when she was saying how my grandparents are jerks and she understands why i didn't want them to come to my wedding. and she was going on and on about how they were mean to me when i was a kid and they don't deserve to come... and i was just listening the whole time and then i finally said 1 thing... i said "yeah and they didn't even call when they found out we got married" and she said the whole entitlement thing. as soon as i agree with her or join in.. she disagrees. she's ridiculous. anyways. i like sorbet more than frozen yogurt. jammed with Timmy a little today. he didn't know how to count while he played but i helped :] cuz we were playing this one song by the cranberries and he plays for 4 bars before i come in so i come in with him. i told him to count but he said he didn't know how so then i watched him play and every time he switched chords it was on the 1. i think if he plays all the songs he knows really well with the metronome and learns to count when he plays it will completely change the way he plays guitar. but i already think he's amazing for never having lessons. well he had like 1 lesson a billion years ago and it was just watching Luke say "check this out" and play the craziest solo's the knew. well pretty much. so I think its crazy how he's completely self taught and come this far. As for me... I should be better :/ i like Hook. "You are a fart factory.." haha. oh g's. that commercial where its raining shoes is so stupid.... how do u know u have a pair?? you could end up with 1000 singles. what a stupid commercial. we had a lot of fun today :] I'm not looking forward to being alone tomorrow. but i am 110! and if i do yoga tomorrow i will lose a lb. lol. 1 lb at a time :] heath ledger is kinda hot. i usually don't like blondes because their eyebrows blend into their face and from far away it doesn't look like they have any! its a little creepy. lol. but his aren't that bad.. i wanna go to the eye doctor soon. i hope they say i need glasses. not that i want to spend money on glasses.. but i think i look cute.. and its not fair.. some people don't even look good in glasses.. lol that's a stupid thing to say... uhggbahbhsahs. i think leona lewis got a nose job. she looks less.. manly. .... i care...