hi. today i went to lunch with brett and cody and cody's girlfriend. then i went to school. after it was raining but i got on a bus and went to cody's. me and brett went to his car way up the hill and then my mom picked me up like 15 minutes later. she's been a real jerk to me. and to brett. and just a jerk in general. jerk. when i got home i took a nap. had a bad dream. that brett died and then i was depressed and killed myself. i woke up crying. me and my mom had a fight. i just want to leave and i cant. My mom is ticking me off... she keeps saying that she is going to give my room to my uncle or my brother. she said that my uncle pays rent and i dont.. but when my brother comes home he wouldnt be paying rent.. and he didnt have to pay rent before he went to the army. and he was my age. its such a double standard. and my mom is a hypocrite and i hate it. she tells me that i have been acting a certain way since bretts been here, but its not me.. its her. she hates him. and she is doing anything she can to make everything so stupid. she has so much control over me. i hate it. i tell her everything. and still she complains and says i tell her nothing. ok, i dont tell her EVERYTHING.. but i definately tell her more than most people tell their parents. i dunno. aw.. jefrie looks so cute. he's laying down on the floor all spread out and looking at me. now he's cleaing his butt.. not so cute. but thats ok. i miss andres. but but no "i dont care at all. about anything" gah. i am not a happy camper. im never happy. what is wrong with me? i need to eat. bye.