Listening to: until june- the saddest song
AH! thank god!
sitd is back to normal.
not that i have anything to write about.
My mother is so stupid. what is wrong with my family? I really hope i can produce a stronger family than this. I'm pretty sure i can. and im going to be there for my family instead of pull them apart. seriously, what is wrong with her?
whatever.
speaking of ridiculous people.. sal. He does this thing where he says something and if you get offended, he says he was just kidding.. but he so wasnt. He knows I dont make a lot of money, at all. and he actually has the nerve to tell me "dont be cheap and get me a $2 wedding gift." first of all, who is rude enough to actually say that? even if your arrogant enough to think it... what does it take for someone to be that ridiculous? i mean i understand what is expected. i intended on getting a gift. i was proud to. but now.. its like an obligation. and you know the stuidest part? he makes at least 4 times the amount i do and doesnt have a problem showing it.. but expects me to get him a gift. bUT when me and timmy get married.. i bet he will get something that costs the same, if not cheaper than my gift. thinking its fair. but how is that fair? and honestly if people dont get me a gift.. im not going to get offended. ive been thru enough crap in my life to know that sometimes it just cant be done. but sal isnt hurting for money and since he's made a point to address it with me.. if he doesnt get us a gift im going to be so angry. gah. it pissed me off like all day. seriously all my money goes to rent, gas, and an occasional trip to goodwill. and he has the nerve to call me cheap. or predict cheapness. if anyone is cheap.. its him. when u dont have money but spend it anyways on a friends wedding.. thats not cheap. when you have all sorts of money and your going around calling your guests and "joking" that they shouldnt get you cheap gifts.. thats cheap. gosh. isnt getting married enough? hmmm.. cuz if it isnt.. that might be a bad sign. i mean he still owes us a dinner. cuz we were supposed to hang out one night and they had us come all the way over.. he said "i'll be 2 minutes Im just fiishing up with a friend" well he was actually just starting a meeting with his friend about some business he was getting into. and made us wait in his room on his bed with stephanie for over an hour. and to make up for it.. dinner. but did we see dinner? nope. psh. gifts. how selfish. i dont even think me and timmy are getting anything at all. I mean it would be nice and I'd feel special knowing someone actually thought about me, but to expect it like that... its so gay. i mean he hasnt even sent us an invitation yet. he expects us to get them an extravagant gift like everyone else but he isnt treating us like everyone else.
im just sick of people lately.
its just one ridiculous thing after the other. and they are so stupid and self centered that they dont even get it.
bah. new subject. jefrie is fat. he likes being outside. i wish i could get him nuetered. if i dont do it soon he might not live as long as he could.
i think im going to get tested for autism. i think i have it. not like have have it.. i think i might have had mild autism as a kid. it fades with age and stuff so its very likely. ive thought it for a while but i just want to know. you ever just know somethings missing? its not like anything is missing i guess but its like i feel like theres a hole i cant fill because i dont know who i am. i mean if its not autism. its something.
i guess Im going to go to bed now. i dont want to. sounds kinda bad.. i love being with timmy. for true.. we've been together almost 2 years. its crazy. its just kind of.. ridiculous tho. i like that word today. its hard to be with someone everynight and not be with them, be with them. i dont like it. for a while i would stay up until 5ish, around the time he would get up for work so i'd go to bed when he has to leave. sometimes i just think its easier that way. maybe.
pretty.
and its the saddest song you'll sing
and Im alone with you
your tears come down
you searched your life for something new
and what you found was true
but now you're gone
oooooooooooh,
you're alone
and im waiting here for you
you're alone
and im waiting here for you
i walk the streets alone with you
oh just to be with you
but now you're gone
fell inlove with foooolish things
and fell away from me
now you're gone
ooooh, you're alone
and im waiting here for you
you're alone
and im waiting here for you
ooooooohhOHh and im waiting
oohhhhhhuhnuho
ohhhhhhhhhh
and you're caught
but I'm here
when you fail
and your lost
and im waiting for you
OOooh
cuz i know
and you know
not alone.
and im waiting here for you
not alone
and im waiting here for you
oh no not aloneand im waiting here for you
not alone
oh no and youre not alone.
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