yeah so here it is... the mother is crazy. she wonders why i am so anxious to get out of that crap of a house and then when i do she does the craziest things. Like try to get money out of me when she knows i dont have it. and she didnt give me half of the check we got from school for financial aid. she's taking me off her insurance. and she blamed me for a busted window at my house accusing me of breaking ina dn said shes going to report it or make me pay for it... or something. one of those. but i didnt even do it. i have keys... why would i break into my own house when i have keys? jerk. and shes so cold and distant even more so than usual and she always asks what i mean wheni call her cold... if she doesnt know by now.. she has issues. i dont know how else to explain it to her. heartless wench. what is a wench? sounds bad. so thats what she is. baaaaaaaad. gavdsjad. in other news... i got a parking ticket. o yes. times are looking up for the jeni. what next??? what next? I didnt do my english final. if i had a higher treshold for pain.. i i would tear out my brain and boil it for dinner. timmys bday tomorrow. and his mothers coming. and all my crap is all over the place. i dont want to go to church because im sure the word is out and spread by now. but i just want to go... to go. bleh. heather knows. she asked where i was living and i said with friends and she asked if tim was one of them and somehow she got it out. she already knew. the way she was asking made it obvious. i dont even care. i look like crap and i have to go to work. asking for a raise today. if i dont get it im quitting and really considering moving to missouri. i dont want to. i wish i could afford to live out here but i just know im going to end up blowing all my money again like before.. and i dont have much to startout with this time. i am scared of missouri tho. its so far. oi. i dont want to be a burden anymore. i feel like nothing and i am nothing. i have to go to work.im tired. i have to pee. bye.