3:15 am on the 18th
i updated entry 634. its private. and ridiculously long. i also wrote something on paper. i dunno why. i dont see the point of writing anymore. it doesnt change anything. i guess its a stress reliever. and im so stressed sometimes i could write pages and pages of just feelings and emtions and nonsense really. ha. but at least i do it on paper... right? i have no one to talk to. well, no one who reeeeeally knows who i am inside and out. and who can be an objective listener. i try my mom sometmes but she always turns everything into a question about sex.. i could ask anything and she'd be like.. are you having sex with him?? --no mom.--- "i dont believe you." so why ask??? so thats just pointless. i wish i could just confront things. and really take initiative with important things. but i dont. i can be really intensly mad. but gah. it doesnt mean crap if its over in 5 minutes. the emotions of mad are gone.... but i still feel like crap. like.. what the heck feelings. and like... i dunno. just confused. and other things. we had a good night tonight. well. we have a good night every night. i love timmy. i just.. am stupid. lol *shrug* what can ya do?
tims on the couch. i dont wanna wake him cuz he looks comfortable and he has to be up in 2 or something hours.. but his alarm clock is in his room.. soo.. well. i guess i will wake him. or.. just stay up 2 more hours? and wake him then? bleh. my back hhurts.
goodnight sitd'ers
parents r stupid