i wanted to have an entry of what I want in a husband...

Ive been asking around, different people... "what do you think is the most important thing a couple needs ina married" actually Ive only asked my mom but she asked a couple married couples and a single and they all basically said the same thing. they all said the same thing.. a little thing i like to call... the yoda effect...trust, which leads to respect, which leads to love, etc. honoring them and honesty. and good communication.

and then i thought of what it says in the bible... and it tells the men to love their wives and tells the women to respect their husbands... and you know.. for a while i was so mad at that command... cuz i was almost thinking God was sexist.. haha.. but then I was like... DUH... cuz God knows that its natural for women to love, so of course they will love their husbands. so he doesnt even have to command that, or theyd focus on that. And for men, its easier, not easy but easier for them to understand the importance of respect, so itd be easier for them to respect their wives. you know, generally speaking. I figured that out a while ago. and then i was thinking ok.... so for me.. I want someone i am able to respect.. because my husband is going to be the man of my house. I want a husband who will make wise decisions that I can support and be open to my input and really take in my concerns and such before making big decisions. But overall, I'd respect and support him with decisions. And that comes from trusting him... I dont know.

thats the main thing. but thats enough for now. will add more later.

-----------------------------------------

its later.... this is just the basic stuff. i dont have time to elaborate right now but i will. and this is justw hat id want if i could make the prefect husband... but no one is perfect and i dont expect a perfect husband. Id be lucky to recieve a man with 1/3 of these qualities....

I want a man of God who is....

(not in any order)

Loving- I am his beloved. and he shows me he loves me. instead of feeling it.

Romantic- sweeps me off my feet. Come on now. I used to be so old fashioned. I would like to be old fashioned now too... but its hard when guys dont know how to woo a girl anymore. someone who studies chick flicks and stupid girly movies to get ideas. and does cheesy cutesy stuff that he thinks will make me smile.

Leader- directs the relationship. if i am in a relationship.. its not just for the present. I have to be thinking about my future.. and in my future my husband will be, as God commanded, the leader of our household. So he's gotta start somewhere right? if he cant direct our relationship now, what makes him think he can guide a whole family and expect it to work.

Dependable-consistency

respectful- of my thoughts, opinions, emotions, and body.

Honest and trustworthy- someone who displays integrity and is not deceptive. isnt afraid to say something, even it will hurt my feelings. i mean this. i would much rather a guy tell me i am annoying then go off about me to his friends and be all lovey dovey to my face. it would also just make us closer together if he told me the truth about myself even the unpleasant stuff. altho, he should word it kinda nice

Affectionate- not afraid to express feelings thru touch.

committed

loyal and faithful

patient

motivated

ambitious

secure

successful

stable

sensitive but not a push over

easy going

responsible

encouraging

forgiving

confident but not cocky

genuine

planner

funny

sweet

dorky

escentric

likes to dance

likes music

likes to talk

likes to listen

likes to cuddle

same morals, beliefs and values. different personality.

involved in church and ministry

makes me happy and brings out the best in me

someone i have good communication with. we could tell eachother anything. from feelings, personal dreams, and fears to faults we see in one another.

a good listener and encourager

good with kids, wants kids

positive thinker

a leader of my family, able to make decisions i trust and feel safe following

i dont want to be a teacher or a student in a relationship. i just wanna be.

good steward of his money, doesnt need to have alot to be responsible and budget what he has

someone i want to take care of

someone who can handle, but mostly, someone who loves my style and isnt embarrased of me.

someone i can see myself growing old with

im not shallow so it doesnt matter but i might as well say physical preferences while im at it. thers not alot.

-nice teeth

-good hygeine and breath... does that go with nice teeth? idk

-toned or cut, not huge muscle cuz its icky

-brown hair, green eyes

-or trent look alike

-long hair is cute (depending on the guy, ex leland from DOG the bounty hunter)

-sideburns, also cute

Things I dont want:

smokes

drinks

Cusses

Infedelity

Violent

Serious anger problems

arrogance

STD's

someone who doesnt like bunnies or me in lime green pants

-------------------------------------------

and these are new standards i hold for myself. cuz every girl should ahve their natural standards.

i will not go out with a guy....

who does not ask me out first

who does not call, or call on time.

___________________________________________

so that was all in the beginning of the year. its 8/06 now and i have updated. most is the same but i didnt feel like erasing whati wrote so whatever. this is my diary so deal with it.

What I want?

o8.o4.o5

1. Man of God

A. Not just a Christian

1. Involved in a ministry

2. Loves to worship, because I love to worship and that�s what we�re made for.

B. Someone who prays

1. Not afraid to pray with me

2. Not afraid to pray in public

3. Prays often

C. Reads the bible often

1. Likes to include me in what he�s getting from what he reads

2. Maybe even reads the bible with me

2. Wise Men Seek Counsel

A. Has accountability

1. Only asks men of God who have great marriages for advice concerning marriage and me

2. Doesn�t talk to women or girls without me present when it has to do with something personal, especially marriage or me

a. Doesn�t have a need to talk to girls at all� what advice can a young girl give a man anyways?

B. Isn�t proud

1. Someone who will go to the appropriate people for the situation and not get defensive when I try to tell him who that would be. And takes my suggestions on who he should talk to

3. Serious about his future wife

A. Someone who is open-minded to change

1. Can take into consideration that some things won�t be appropriate in the future if he wants to have a healthy marriage (i.e. sitting on his bed with a girl, talking on the phone late at night with a girl friend, etc)

B. Someone who chooses to honor their wife now

1. Willingness to sacrifice (appropriately)

2. Doesn�t have a desire or need to make me jealous

3. Does anything he can to make me comfortable and feel safe and secure being with him

4. Someone who trusts me

A. Trusts that I have his and our relationships best interests at heart

B. SOmeone i can trust as well

1. he doesnt just tell me things because he has to but because he wants to. because he tells me everything anyways

2. i dont have to ask

3. doesnt lie. and NEVER says "i didnt think it was a big deal" because if it wasnt you would have told me.

5. Fidelity

A. Faithful physically

1. A man who chooses me always

B. Faithful mentally

1. Doesn�t have fantasies about other girls or another life. thoughts are just as dangerous as the real thing.

a) Bounces his eyes away from temptation

C. Faithful emotionally

1. Doesn�t have the desire to talk to another girl over me. (To vent, get advice, for comfort, or just because)

6. Leader

A. Ability and maturity to lead our relationship in the right direction

1. Wisdom and strength to draw the line physically

2. Spiritually- can say �you know, instead of arguing, let�s hang up and read and pray about this�

3. Decisive

7. Friendships

A. Someone who puts their family and friends before me when we�re just dating

1. Except girls who are unrelated to them� never puts another girl before me... ever!

2. Does not talk to ex girlfriend(s)

a) being polite if paths cross is one thing�

3. Can have girl friends but I would hope that the man I have would be at a place in his life where he can make a decision for himself to think ahead and decide to limit those friendships and set boundaries on them so he doesn�t get in a habit of being close to the opposite sex

B. Someone who puts me before friends while were going out or courting (same as above plus�)

1. Unless its an emergency

2. Can have girl friends on a surface level

a. Never talks about our relationship with other girls

b. Never is alone with another girl or girls

c. Doesn't participate in intimate things with girls (i.e. dying hair, massaging, talking on the phone for long periods of time or on a regular basis, talking about body parts)

d. Side hugs only

e. If a girl wants to talk to him about a problem he says no; or he suggests that she talk to an older woman or would rather she talk with both of us.

f. If the relationship progresses to a more serious level of commitment: by this time he has sit down with each of his girl friends and made it clear that he can�t be in close relationships with them anymore and set strict boundaries between them

C. Someone who puts me before friends and family during engagement and marriage (same as above plus...)

1. Only has girl friends that I know and are my friends too

2. Only hangs out with our girl friends when I'm around or at least know about it in advance

3. Shares my views about relationships with the opposite sex

a. I don�t need to convince him or live in misery

to be continued?