I feel like I'm walking on a tight rope but its a welcome alternative.. anything over the constant feeling of falling backwards through the air. Maybe i thought the feeling was thrilling?.. i was intoxicated on ideas based on my own feelings not facts.. breeding reason out of thin air. But there was no end. Or maybe there was and it just happened. i guess it does feel as if i smacked into the earth.

Anywho. That was probably the longest drawn out lesson of my life... I feel like utter crap and better than i have in a long time.. the two feelings beg for my attention. Im not worried about it though. Its crazy how 1 word or thought can trigger a simple epiphany that explodes eith a million tiny epiphanies and everything suddenly starts making all kinds of stupid sense. And its stupid because i should have known in the first place.

I have too much to do to worry about all this anymore. I just dedicated 9 months of my life to anlost cause. I can think of a better use of 9 months... or could. I dont think i want that anymore. I dont know what i want.

Dont you hate when someone tells you their going through the smae thing as you.. like. For example if you told someone your uncle died and they responded with.. "oh yeah for sure i just lost my pet gold fish". Im not saying you cant get attached to a gold fish but come freaking on.. almost 12 years and 3 weeks are not compareable. (All uncles and fishies.. that i know of.. are fine.) Just saying.

Its ok though.

TheBirdistheWrd . Thats my instagram. Idk why I'm posting it. I haven't before and i dontsee a reason no to. Just bored i guess.

My cat is trying to cuddle with my phone while i write this.. grr. Move yo face kitteh.

From now on I'm only caring about things that either care back or make me feel good. Everything else can suck it.

Drums?