so i talked to my grandma yesterday.. awkward.. like i like my grandma but i haven't talked to her in a long time.. and i dunno what to say anymore to them.. i know she sides with my mom in every situation so that also contributes to the weirdness. And I haven't talked to my mom since.. i forget but probably last year? like in December? maybe.. January.. i don't even remember. Things have been good since.. she is too much for me to handle. Nothing is ever good enough for her. so.. whatever it is what it is. The other thing that made it awkward was when i was telling her about our trip to Colorado in a couple weeks and she jokingly asked if we were going to move out there.. and I said we probably were. I dunno. I guess they never expected that.. but why the hell not? its not like I have family here to hold me back. not really. family supports each other.. they don't go around calling you things you aren't and filling peoples heads with crap about you. Tim's family is easier. Even with Aaron and his aunt Kim and that's saying a lot. Sometimes i feel like escaping this place.. and maybe that's exactly what we need. someday. maybe not for a while. maybe not at all. maybe sooner than we think.. who knows. I had a dream last night.. i don't even know how to describe it. and its all jumbled up in my head.. but basically.. i was with what i thought was Tim.. only it wasn't Tim... it was Andres.. of all people YUCK! (at least i think it was.. not so much in appearance but in like presence.. if that makes sense) and we were all.. uhg.. like a couple or something.. and its like wtf where did THAT come from? anyways.. So were in this hotel. and we like live there or something and then we go to dinner with my grandma.. and its an expensive place.. but we didn't know how expensive.. and we can't pay.. and then "Andres" or whoever it was turns into a friend. a girl. and we are being taken to be punished for not being able to pay.. and it turns weird.. we get attacked by these 2 guys... we can't see their faces. just their hair. and then.. I'm at a house and there's tons of people i know there.. like we all live together.. and the house is surrounded by trees and grass and its pretty. and inside the house.. looks like outside.. its weird... and I'm walking from my room to find my brother or something.. and I'm almost there and all the people sleeping over there see me coming.. and a freaking TIGER starts hunting me and they are all looking at me like OMG and the tiger starts chasing me and I dodge it a few times and then its weird... i grab this like power line and swing myself into a tree.. and then all this other stuff happened. idk it was just scary. it doesn't sound anything like the actual dream.. at all... it was like a scary movie man.. o well.. especially the andres part XD hahaha i miss super walmart. seriously.. where else can you buy panties and eggs at the same time? I wanted to make an omelet :( o well. i sent my resume out to a few places.. one I'm particularly interested in. but I'm not gonna mention it.. nope.. if it happens it happens.. I want a baby. Brody James, Jaike Ryan, and Nikola Anthony... Aw. Ian is mean. I dunno where Casey is.. I think he's mad at me?? idk..