I dont like my living situation. I like my aunt suzy and all, but it sucks over there. Its boring and feels like the twilight zone cuz people are so psycho... and everyone does weed. jauquin and manuel do weed and my aunt suzy smokes, and the smell just spreads throughout the house. I dont want it. and Im confsed on what to do, cuz I really dont want to leave my cousin corina. she's only in 6th grade and she hangs out with all these older kids. and they arent good role models. and Im not a st. but at least i know she isnt doing bad things when she's with me. and they went through all the trouble of moving out alisha's stuff and moving in mine. I just got comfortable. and now I dont want to be there. But i dont want to come back either cuz although i really love my church and such and miss people... other people do or might go to church too... and thats not good, cuz i dont want to see him or them. or whatever. and if Im here... its just gay cuz Im close to andres and he doesnt wanna be with me and he shouldnt want to and i think it was good not having a phone cuz it kept me from being a foolish girl... but im here and theres phones all over and its annoying really. and the freaking bus goes right to coc. and grrr.

but today after i got home and andres called me, i was thinking... and I really am ok with everything. with the whole not being with him thing. But I dont not want to be with anyone anymore. I want to be with him. But i guess I screwed it up, yeah? I'll wait. gah, Im a jerk and Im just being really selfish. And its stupid cuz i know that I shouldnt be thinking the things i do and doing things. well, for the record... its him or no one for.. well, a long time or if he decides he doesnt want to be with me in the future either. i kinda wish i was telepathic.

gonna try and get my wisdom teeth pulls soon. that'll be good. yeah, im boring. i know.

but besides that. i havent a care in the worl. nope, not at all.

gotta get thru this- daniel bedingfield

http://search.launch.yahoo.com/launch/search/?m=video&p=gotta+get+thru+this&x=31&y=9

memory by sugarcult

http://search.launch.yahoo.com/launch/search/?m=video&p=memory&x=21&y=12