i told him to hang up. but i told him that if he did it was done. like done done. over. not a rbeak. just over. and. he hung up. and i expected it but i'm scared. i wont talk about it. it'll only make things worse. i wish he would have done it sooner. i would have cried the same but maybe i wouldnt have felt like such an idiot. after hours of talking and still the same result. i wish i wouldnt have made such a fool out of myself. i guess all there is to do now is get over him. and us and everything. tomorrow is a new day. in february i want to go to missouri. im going to save up money and go right after i get my certificate. i cant stand it here right now. and a few months is soo long but its the best i can do. im so stupid. maybe it's better his way.. no marriage. no time. no values. no guilt. maybe,. but i guess i'll never know. i am what i am. i wish he loved me for what i am. why do i keep having to do this? why do i keep losing the people i love? i'll be fine. i am fine. yeah. im already over it. im over everything. tim. boys. love in general. its not true. its not real. it doesnt solve anything. it only makes things worse.