well hello diary..

Its 3:30am. I am debating whether i should go to sleep or stay up so i can wake up tim...

Nope, too tired.... a quickie and then sleep.

My job. its... its... its a job. I keep telling myself that everyone hates their boss... over and over and over. no.. I don't hate my boss. He's just.. interesting. He's VERY passive aggressive. I hate passive aggressive people.. he can also be very condescending, patronizing, and exagerates and jumps to conclusions. But whatever. Actually, its been a little better the last few days.. haha... I haven't been at work for the last few days. I'm a hoot. Seriously tho, I'm seriously debating whethere or not I should disclose my disorder to him. I want to because it might make him ease up some, and have some understanding not only of why i am the way i am.. but why being how he is in difficult situations only makes matters worse and causes me to completely close up and get anxious and then i make mistakes because I'm so wound up and then he uses that against me. and once I tried to tell him he was pressuring me and he like got all weird and was like "put it on me.. that's weak" psh. Its hard to talk and think. Its hard to think and talk. Its hard to work and talk or work and think. But he talks alll freaking day and wonders why I make mistakes or can't concentrate properly. I am not used to it. but i need this stupid job. Its not stupid. Its actually cool.. i like the work for the most part. i like learning stuff. but i wish it was just a little bit different. i wish it was a little more quiet and private and stressfree. when he leaves the office.. me and luke just work and its so quiet and things actually get done. if its not a phone ringing, or someone talking on it on the top of their lungs then its someone coming in for a meeting or interviewing or my boss and luke chatting up a storm or the yoga place next door or peoples foot steps etc.. and if nothing is happening.. then my boss feels the need to fill the silence with excessive amounts of babbling. and thats great. would be great. if i wasnt trying to work. or if he didnt get mad when things take forever.. uhg. at least its a little more part time right now. actually more part time then i would like but honestly i could use the break.. in the meantime ive been looking for a new job and working on my portfolio. almost done btw. just 2 more pages. and a few minor touches. cant wait. once i have a professional, working online portfolio.. i'll be legit. too legit to quit. lol. nvm.

some asshole i met on xbox sent me a pic of his penis. UHG! timmy was very mad at him. it was nasty. and he was quickly deleted. never to be heard from again. well. its only been 1 day. but that's how the story ends.

cuz the roads taste like wintergreen...

i wonder where my cousin manuel is... i thought he was gonna visit me soon. guess not :/

I think i wanna hang out with Rahm again soon for Shabu! That was fun and yummy! Rahm makes me laugh. We're like besties. omgsh. so much drama with Garett and kari. Dont even wanna talk about it. but they suck. the end. we're not friends anymore. it sucks.. because i dont have many girl friends. but o well. kari wasn't really nice anyways. she was... a snob.

i gotta pick up my perscription tomorrow. don't forget!

i should finish my book.

im tired. tetris and bed. :)