me and Ian were supposed to play cod4 and battlefield tonight. but. i wanted to play waw with Casey. Hey kept sending me messages and invites to game and party but I dunno. I was talking to casey and idk... we were talking about old times at work and people and we were sharing what people said about us behind our backs. well the thing that was said about me mostly.. apparently was if not started, at least was spread by the help of non other than our dear mr. ian. So innocent. ha. what a jerk. Casey said that he would stand up for me a lot because people would say that i flirt and suck up to get what i want. and that ian specifically said that mario was stalking me and that I liked it because I crave attention. and basically just implying that i am a whore. and it just sucks. its like.. 1. no i did not flirt. at least no intentionally.. i tried to be so careful but I guess i wasn't.. 2. suck up? how? I avoided the leads and whatknot because i was intimidated.. and about ians comment.. uh.. i had no idea mario was so creepy until i left and really thought about it. he seemed harmless. and if i ever did hang out with him its only because me and dustin had that fight and I had no one else to hang out with.. what do they expect from me? and i let him follow me around because i liked the attention? uh no. mario creeped me out a lot but what was i going to do? be a bitch and tell him to go away? i can't be mean like that to people. and its sucks because no matter who the person was i would hang out with.. SOMEONE would come around and say how they want my nuts (hehe) and how stalkery they are.. what? ok so every guy i talked to at atvi is a stalker apparently. i mean true ish for mario and brandon.. they have the creeps in them. but i never tried to lead them on.. i was friendly. and as for everyone else.. i thought of them like.. uh idk brothers. I've grown up around boys my whole life and I don't know how else to act but how i do.. and i never thought it was bad. apparently Ian disagrees. at least Casey didn't buy into his nonsense and told him i wasn't like that. what if he did? then i'd have had like no friends after a while. seriously.. what is his problem? i mean i understand not really knowing a person and judging them because of a misunderstanding.. ignorance of who they really are and then later finding out you were wrong about them and confronting them and tell them in as light a way as u want that u once thought that way but it changed. i did that with Casey. i told him i thought i thought he was creepy the first week of atvi. but it was a misunderstanding and i was wrong and he knows it and i know and everything is cool. and Britney and Dave said the same to him. kinda. but Ian just tries to act all buddy buddy now when he criticized others who did the exact same thing. and he's supposed to be my friend and he hasn't told me that he spread rumors about me. i mean its one thing to have an opinion about someone.. but to spread it around like that.. to all my friends.. what was he trying to accomplish? what a jerk. and he calls himself a nice guy. whats with all these guys who throw the term nice around so loosely?? hmm? I mean i had a lot of opinions about people.. and sometimes i would say things.. but not to the people they were closest to.. just people who wouldn't give a crap anyways. and the things i said were nothing. like calling dante a vampire. who cares? whatever, not the biggest of deals just hurts my feelings because he's like.. recently like one of my best friends. if not my best friend. grrr. i just don't even know what to say now. every time he would invite me to a party on xbox i wanted to reply and say something like "sorry too busy craving attention.. " or something but knowing i was talking to casey at the time.. he would get mad at casey for telling me and then they would be non happy and me and casey would be non happy times. and it would be stupid. so i just ignored him and looked like a bitch and he has no idea why.. i really don't think girls are as crazy as they are made out to be.. i think its situations such as these that they are suckered into. crushed between a rock and a hard place.. either get over it and not let it bother me but always be bothered.. stop talking to him so i don't have to worry about it.. or confront him and make casey look bad. urg. whatever, idk. idc. time for guitarsies.