Oh the fascination of flukes.
We're so over the fight. by the end of the day it was fine.
we we're watching that stupid show where they answer 21 questions and win money.. the girl was 22 and she was in beauty pagents and stuff.. and one of the questions was "do you plan on being a virgin on your wedding night" and she said yes and it was true. and I tried to be sarcastic about it and not let it bother me. but it really does. I just got really jealous of her. and thought.. she gets to be part of the 3%. and i know not everyone wants to wait and thats fine.. but i did and it doesnt matter anymore and then this person who was in beauty pagents and probably had many opportunities and many friends who were influencing the opposite and then Im over here with all the right influences and in one month I throw it all away. 6 more months is all. if i would have waited just a little longer I could have done it. and I was fine and then commercial comes and i dont even know how it happened but i said something about it to timmy and I couldnt help but cry about it. not sobby just crying. he told me it was ok and he loves me and rubbed my back and then he just hugged me and let me cry about it for a little while. thats what timmy's do best. i know we had a lot of problems before but he's pretty much always been great in the comforting department. and now its even better. I just know he cared and like he felt it too. instead of just doing a "boyfriend duty". cuz that sort of comfort makes you feel kind of ashamed. he's my favorite. I didnt cry alot but the fact that Im still crying about it kind of took me by surprise.. because I have.. a LOT. a lot a lot. and its been a while and it still feels the same. I guess I'll always feel like I failed myself when I think about it. Like my most important part isnt there and now I dont know what to think of myself at all.. I dont even want to. I dont know what anyone else see's anymore. TIm is the only thing in my life thats right right now.
oh. good news. he talked to his pops about the whole aaron situation and the money so hopefull that gets taken care of. Im just glad he put it out there and got the ball rolling. i mean its been over a year so idk.. we'll see what happens i guess.
oh oh bad news.. I called that job and they were so stupid. they didnt just make it seem like i had a job.. they actually DID give me a job and then blow me off for a couple weeks and when i finally talk to one of the idiots, they tell me that they "definitely have me on their list" and they'll call me when they "put everything together" like the job itself isnt an actual position yet.. they have to like come up with all the stuff the person would do and crap like that but its like.. why the hell didnt you do all that before CALLING people to come and interview. yeah. yeah they called ME. and told me to take it seriously and look at them. they are a joke. a big fat joke. by the way.. if anyone is actually reading this.. the company's name is LRP capital.. Lending and Realty Professionals. I dont recommend doing any sort of business with them because not only are they not "professionals" like they claim to be.. they suck ass as well.
I love My Fair Brady.. with a maggot infested passion.
my family is so stupid.
my brother just knocked on my door complaining because i ate 2 pieces of old pizza in the fridge. I havent eaten anything from it except a bowl of potato salad and the pizza slices in over 2 weeks. nothing. thats all. o and I made a sandwich about a week ago. and thats absolutely it. enough for 3 meals if you call any of those a meal.. in 2 weeks and he comes in here and gets all stupid about it because apparently it was his. like im supposed to know this. he wrote "jasons. do not eat" on everything else in the fridge but that. it didnt say jasons on it so i figured it wasnt his.. obviously. he's a bastard anyways. this whole family is. after him my mom knocks on manuels door, its 4 in the morning mind u.. and when i open the door thinking she's knocking on my door she sticks her fat head in here like Ive got a horde of illegals stuffed under my bed.. i dont get what all the suspicion is about with that woman but she's driving me crazy. Im so sick of this family. Im so ready to start my own. Im over this beast of a family. i want to punch it in the vag and shove it out a window. I hate them and they hate me and Im so sick of caring anymore. i just want to be with timmy right now. we might as well just live together again. i dont have any reasons not to anymore. i want to light a match and burn this bloody house to the ground. maybe the flames would swallow all the memories too.. one could only wish.
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