My favorite verse in the bible used to be that one verse that most people know simply as "trust in the Lord with all your heart and he will give you the desires of your heart." at least that's what I thought it was.

But there are so many translations. I mean one says 'Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.' Trusting and delighting are completely different. One says 'commit'. And the second part gets changed too.. sometimes it says 'he will give you the desires of your heart'.. great! But sometimes it says 'he will answer your prayers'. Another says 'he will act'. Well that's great but again completely different. so the phrase take delight in the lord and he will give you the desires of your heart is nowhere even close to trust in him and he will answer your prayers. Why do they have to have so many translations? How are you supposed to know what he wants if he has alll the silly people saying whatever they want it to say or think he means? Who reeeally knows if anything is accurate? The bible is so old I'm sure its like that telephone game in school where the sentence you told to the first person sounds nothing like what the 20th person ends up hearing. Christians get so much crap because they can't even decide on what they are reading. And when they don't like it they go and make a new version... I dont know. I'm trying here.

Anyways lets just pretend its simply the first one. I guess I stopped believing it. It was hard not to. I want to try again. But if it is true (at least that version).. He's got his work cut out for him that's for sure.

People always say that he doesn't just give you what you want.. he changes you're heart. Well that just seems like a nasty trick... I mean free will and all that doesn't seem to hold any weight if you think of it like that. Seems like only people who don't trust God get to exercise their free will without any consequences.. well not immediate anyways. I guess that's the point.

At this point I don't really care. Do it. Change things. Fine. As long as this time its for good instead of a sleeping dragon.

I like dragons :[

Arggggggggg.

Still. Totally get all like 'Eternal Sunshine' on my headspace, God. I'm down. Iight... Jeni out.

*Not sure why I chose to talk like a gangster at the end... But I'm pretty sure God has his share of gangster tendencies.