Work is good. Mostly. 90% great. 10% bad but when is work 100% good? I'm lucky and blessed to have found this job. Today was just hard. My co-worker. That;s what he is.. a co-worker... told me he was my manager. Funny how he chooses to tell me this the day John is out of town.. He can be very annoying, condescending, arrogant, ignorant, and self absored. But mostly just little bursts of one or two of those fun traits throughout the day. Well. today I got all of them all at once, all day.. wtf. at least it was friday and we leave early on fridays. uhg.

in other news. I keep having what i have been calling "panic attacks". i'm pretty sure its a panic attack. It scares me. I don't know how to describe it or what to compare it to. Its just different. Last night I had what I like to call a "mini" panic attack because I've had this happen before and it was a little worse but last night was still scary. it doesn't hurt really. i think a normal person would like it less and consider it very uncomfortable.. and it is to an extent but sometimes.. its like.. like i like poking my bruises. it doesn't feel good.. but it feels good when I stop lol. well its the same. it doesn't feel good but they come in waves. and the spikes are weird but when it goes down it feels good. My heart beats irregularly, i get this feeling in my chest that feels like the feeling you get in your stomach when you're on a rollercoaster and it drops. My chest feels funny. shortness of breath maybe.. actuallyl yeah.. its kind of hard to breath during. I have to actually try. And sometimes it makes me feel weird in my throat but it feels better when i cough. i get sort of light headed and weak. Is this a panic attack? isn't it more of ike breathing into a paper bag, screaming your head off kinda thing? I mean its not pleasant but its not the worst thing.. its not like an "attack".. I think of the word attack and think of someone stabbing me with a knife or punching me in the face and its not as bad as that.. so its hard to put it in the same group. it does scare me tho. especially since its happened a lot lately. idk why. well it happened yesterday after i decided to go with my mom to church. but the around lunch time i canceled and on my way home in the car i got a very small "panic attack". it lasted about 2 minutes. and it was really mild.

we got a shade for the porch. it makes it a lot cooler for the bunnies :)

Choli's hair is growing back.

I'm tired.