[371] such sweet sorrow

i thought i made this a private diary. but i guess i didnt. I am going to in 24 hours. No more diary for the public. nope nope. i think its best. i know it is. andres told me to stop hurting him. he told me he cant talk to me and whatever. so ok. i deleted him from YM. i blocked him from AIM. i am making this diary private. i deleted and blocked him from myspace. i'm not hanging out with him. not calling him. nothing. nothing at all. i mailed that letter of recommendationy thing today. im guessing that thats about as close as i'll be to him in a long time. i dont understand this. how is this not hurting him? cuz it hurts me. its dumb. cuz he said he would be my friend after all this.. but really.. thats not even gonna happen. he's going to get over me eventually and when he does.. he wont think "oh, i think i want to be friends with jeni now" he'll probably just have a whole new life and not even care anymore. fine. ok. great. me too. I guess I'm done, definatly not for the lack of trying.
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what about shoe
?