My kids will learn to respect.

they will learn to obey.

they will learn discipline.

they will learn forgiveness.

they will learn acceptance.

they will learn fairness.

they will learn self control.

and lots of other stuff...

But more than anything they will KNOW I love them. And not just because I say it all the time, and I will. But because I will show them. I wont favor. I wont exasperate. I will teach my children to respect each other. And I will teach them to forgive and accept each other as people without excusing bad behavior. I WILL take sides, because that is my job as a parent. I will mediate. I will punish the one responsible. I will comfort the one hurting. I will understand the difference between the things they do on purpose and the mistakes they make unknowingly. I will teach them to control their anger. I will do it through example. I wont ever say "because I said so" I will always tell them why. I will say sorry when I get it wrong. I will try again. I wont blame them for my mistakes. I wont be afraid to know them. I wont just be there to be their mom. I wont just be their friend. But I will be enough of a friend that they wont ever feel afraid or ashamed to tell me things. I wont overwhelm them so much that they tell me things out of fear and obligation. I will keep their secrets. I wont fight their battles but teach them how to do it themselves. I will be supportive. I will be encouraging. I wont give back handed compliments. I wont tear them apart just to bring them back up. I wont ever let anyone hurt them. I wont let them hurt each other. I wont be afraid to stand up for the one who is innocent, even if it means losing the one in the wrong. People can be bad. I wont be blind to my own children. Who is to say one of mine isn't capable of being a jerk or an ass? I will put them in line. i will hold tehm accountable. Not just one, all of them. I wont parent them differently.

I wont settle for a relationship based on a lie. I can't have a relationship with my mom if she refuses to see who Jason really is. Or at least see how wrong he is in this fight. If she really agreed with me. If she really didn't agree with him.. she wouldnt feel the need to talk about it to me. She wouldn't talk about it to him. She would say one thing. She would flat out tell him...

"JAson, you are wrong. Why is this such a big deal to you? Don't you see you are being a hypocrite? I don't respect hypocrites. Stop being stubborn and apologize for all the crap you've done to her and she will apologize for the thing she said about Cambria. Stop being so arrogant. Just get over it or apologize. "

or in a nut shell " Jason you are wrong. get over it or apologize. "

Simple as that. but she cant. She cant ever tell him he is wrong. She constantly builds his ego. She constantly contributes to his pride. I know I have been prideful, spiteful, selfish, ridiculous etc.. I am not perfect. I never said I was. But I am a different person than I was when I was younger. They can't keep treating me like I am in high school. I am an adult. I can stand up for myself. Its not a tantrum. Its not being irrational. I am not being impulsive. These are things I have thought about . these are issues I know forward and backward. I am right. He is wrong. She is wrong. They can either apologize. Or forget having me in their lives. And I already know what the choice will be. They choose it all the time. No one ever chooses me. I always have to be the bigger person. No. Not any more. not today. I don't care if I lose them . why should I when they constantly show how much they could care less about losing me?