over numbers. unencumbered numbered words... hundreds of pages pages pages more words... well. i tried to go to bed earlier tonight but i failed. welll.. i didnt exactly try that hard. but im just not tired at all. at all. Im in such a weird mood. like "do-it" mood. and i dont mean that in a sexual way. I like have to be doing something at all times.. usually i can just kick back and relax.. do hw but even just doing hw isnt enough.. infact this is the first time my mind has calmed down enough to actually type words.. altho my fingers feel tingly.. maybe someone drugged me when i wasnt looking. i feel anxious like whoa. idunno. maybe its tim. not tim. kinda.. gah. its the 17th. and the whole thing about las vegas is coming up soonly. like very soon.. ly. the 26th or 27th i think.. and thats like a week and a half away which seems like alot.. but its not. cuz the past month has gone by soooo fast. this last week i feel like i was at work once buti was there 5 days. its crazy. so i cant just put things off cuz before i know it it hits me like a ton of bricks. its weird tho. like, after we talked about stuff... i guess tims dad called him about a week ago and was saying when they would want to have us come up to deliver the mustang.. aaaand i guess tim started saying to his dad how he was unsure if we would be coming up or not because of aaron and i guesshe started to list stuff. and apparently his dad wasnt alone cuz instead of his dad responding, aaron starts screaming at him. so we dont know if he was put on speaker phone or if aaron just grabbed the phone from his dad or what.. but his dad didnt even have time to respond cuz he had a phone call right after aaron started screaming at him. so he told tim he'd call him back. but its been at least 4 days and he still hasnt called back. and i dunno.. i hope time doesnt take away from what timmy was trying to say. i hope he doesnt just let it go because they dont bring it up again. i really hope aaron doesnt freaking get away with this and that tim will follow thru.. and i really think he will. timmy's been so amazing. and i know he really wants to. but i dunno. i hate my mom but one conversation we had before we stopped talking was about this and after giving me a bunch of stupid crap she did say that this is a big deal and that i cant ignore it because this is how he will be in marriage. he wont change. and i knew that already but i just really realized.. this could potentially make or break us. or something. maybe not so dramatic. but this isnt just a little thing. and i really dont know whats going to happen. cuz timmy's dad and brother have such an impact on him..and it wouldnt be a suprise if they convinced him it wasnt a big deal. we've already had this conversation. and i said we'll just have to see what happens. but i really dont know if he gets what i meant by that. its kinda freaking me out. cuz as much as he assured me he understood.. what if he doesnt? and what if he just blows this off and thinks nothing of it? what does he expect me to do? bah. i guess i cant really say anything right now.. i'll just go crazy. on a lighter note.. i saw the coolestcage for jefrie. its 4 levels and has a removeable tray at the bottom. and 3 ramps and its awesome. and i want it. cuz right now he's kinda taking up a huge portion of the computer room and i dunno, not to get all feng shui on everyone, but i think environment has a major effect on ur mood.. and it just isnt very fun to look at and sometimes he smells. its stressing me out. maybe thats why all my sitd entries are negative.. i have to pee. ok nite.