today was just.. less than acceptable in all areas.
disappointing really.
This morning was just great.. woke up with a blooody nose. first one in like 8 months. thats gotta be a record.. for me anyways. I woke up when timmy left and went to work around 9. sam and me met for my review. just me and her cuz jay was busy with the new guy. it was good for the most part. and i got a raise. but its almost an insult.. cuz it wasnt much at all. at all. but i cant take it too hard cuz.. out of all the other interns i am the first to even be considered for a raise. im the first to even get a review. she said that her, jay, and neil had a meeting based just on me alone because they felt i should get a raise. so i mean... that makes me feel good.. about the job i do and stuff. but then again, its not enough. anyways...
heather asked if i was going to go to church tonight. yeah.. right. no. oi. i want to tho.
i went to the mall on the way home just to look at for some jeans.. didnt find any. i hate shopping at the mall. i just want jeans. i wish i could just think "i want jeans" and theyd magically appear at my door.. perfect size n not too long. whatever. i saw jenae. i havent seen her in so long. she was with bob and her friend. i almost didnt recognize her so i think i looked like a retard.. just sorta staring. if i didnt stare like that she probably would have kept walking even tho i know she knew it was me. i didnt know what to do.. i wanted to hug her.. i miss her. but. i dont even know her anymore. it was awkward. like we broke up or something lol. weird but thats what it felt like.. when u see old friends usually its a wonderful occasion and theres much rejoicing and hugs and blah.. but this was like if i saw like sean or something. ehhg. i wish u could pick ur friends and keep them forever. none of this.. moving on nonsense. i made time for her. i called. i dunno what i did wrong. wasnt a good enough friend maybe? how.. she made a list of goals. and #1 was to be "jeni belty's best friend forever" i guess forever ended sooner than we thought. however, i truely do hope that she accomplished the other goals on that list. i know she doesnt read this.. i guess she doesnt have a reason to. she's happy without me. and thats cool. i'll probably never see her again. its sad.
i hate the smells in this apartment.
i pressed eject on my itunes when my ipod was charging but it was retarded and ignored me and when i unplugged it.. it froze. but! its ok cuz i fixed it.. well. just reset it. but what a scare. o man. oooo man.
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