Listening to: mercy me- spoken for
Feeling: helpless
i was going to make this private. but you know.. it doesnt even matter. and i like having complete strangers pretend like they know me. i hope that didnt sounds sarcastic cuz its true.
sean broke up with me. Ive never been broken up with before. i havent fully experienced its effects but im sure it would still be hard to determine which is worse. right now.. its this. this is so much worse. I dont know what to do with myself. i just thought i'd write about it.. so i can look back and remember and cry and be stupid. gosh. i hate diaries. anyways. i guess i should go. i cant sleep tho. i already tried. im just going to go. spend some time with my abba. and maybe fall asleep. i hope everyones nite was better than bad..
how do you put a name in a circle anyways? what does that mean??? i guess if i love someone, im just out of luck.. thats what that means... it means just forget about it.. cuz no one knows what it means and no one ever will and everyone sucks :( i dont mean it.
i'll most likely be back... oi... make that most definately...
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2:30 am
are you mad at me? of course i am. and i love you and i miss you and i need you.. ahhh... i love you.. and you just wanted to say goodnight. well i hope you had fun being comforted by all your special friends. im sure bianca will be right there for you in your time of need as well. what a special friend.. ahggg. is that what i get to be? just like bianca? i dont want to. no. ah. im just upset. thats all. im not mad. i know it was the right decision. i think. well he knows. he said he did. but thats not even true.. its because of what happened. he can say all he wants that it wasnt but it was and i know it. i told him. i screwed everything up. i didnt mean to.
bleh. dont think that im a wreck.. cuz im not. im just upset right now.. i know everything will be fine.. i know everything is going to work itself out eventually. but i need to vent.. i need to be emotional.. just one nite. no more crying after tonite.
and.. i know its gay but.. just for now.. comments would be nice :/
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