...Words are flowing out

like endless rain into a paper cup,

They slither while they pass,

they slip away across the universe

Pools of sorrow, waves of joy

are drifting through my open mind,

Possessing and caressing me.

Jai guru de va om

Nothing's gonna change my world

Nothing's gonna change my world.

Nothing's gonna change my world

Nothing's gonna change my world.

Images of broken light

which dance before me like a million eyes,

That call me on and on across the universe,

Thoughts meander

like a restless wind inside a letter box they tumble blindly

as they make their way

Across the universe

Jai guru de va om

Nothing's gonna change my world

Nothing's gonna change my world.

Nothing's gonna change my world

Nothing's gonna change my world.

Sounds of laughter, shades of earth

are ringing through my open ears

inciting and inviting me

Limitless undying love

which shines around me like a million suns, it calls me on and on

Across the universe

Jai guru de va om

Nothing's gonna change my world

Nothing's gonna change my world.

Nothing's gonna change my world

Nothing's gonna change my world.

Jai guru de va, jai guru de va

Jai guru de va, jai guru de va

Jai guru de va, Jai guru de va,

jai guru de va...

I like that song. it kinda spoke my mood. at the time. now im more like that song by andrew wk. the violent one where he wants to kill everything, yeah, kinda like that. i came to write an entry and the little boxes popped up and then i saw the background and i miss brett. i know this is going to be hard. i never said or thought it wouldnt. but i have alot of support and accountability this time. its going to be ok. but yeah. Im just going to keep this site the same for a little while longer. i dont know. cuz it'll make me sad to change it right now. maybe im just a dumb girl.

anyways. last night i broke up with brett. and now i feel awful. to be expected obviously but im sorry anyways. i didnt think that this would happen. I wasnt expecting to do this. i would have told him not to come. not to watse money. gah. money that he doesnt even have... on me. and now... its just making me mad at myself. like always. ah I didnt want to hurt brett. I wish he would be the one breaking up with me, and that he would be happy with that decision and I could be the only one hurting. too late now i guess. ah. i was at whole foods today with heather and "i want it that way" by the backstreet boys came on. heh. that song is funny. reminds me of brett too. but shhh. dont tell yourself.

well. when i woke up this morning, i actually felt ok. and then sal called. and i just thought alot. not about what he said. no offense sal. but it made me think of brett and everything he went thru to make my birthday special and to be here and i just feel bad. and then i was about to have a bad day. heather called and wanted to hang out. so i took andres his papers cuz i printed out a speech he is giving cuz his printer was being a sasshole and then came home and heather picked me up. we went to whole foods and then ate at the house she's house sitting. then walmart. then the mall. i got an application from bath and body works. and Im about to do some online applying. brian, the dude from the signal, didnt call me. hmmm. I am gonna call him tomorrow. anyways. thats all. I miss my brother. I think I'll call him in a lil. music makes me happy. Im gonna go drown my sorrows in tunes...

pieces... of me (is an ashlee simpson song, be an ashlee simpson fan, its cool. no lies.)

___________________________________________

guess who!

me again. well after the tunage i just felt worse. i gues it doesnt help that all the songs i listened to were about staying together, example... al green "lets stay together". oi. so at about 9:30 i asked el madre if i could go for a run. i kinda expected a no but then i asked andres to go with me and she said ok. we ran from my house to his house and back.. thats like almost 3 miles... i think. kinda. but yeah. and we didnt stop or anything so thats good. tomorrow after school im gonna run with him at coc cuz they have hills. and hills are cool. hmm. my canker sore is going away. but because of the masssive amount of thinkage goin on... the jeni is about to chew a whole thru her cheek. boo. anywho. i had more to say but i forgot. poo. ow. i have a major headache and my left eye hurts. other than that... all is good. kinda. cant i lie to myself? its healthy i swear...