i dont know. the title says it all.

word to the wise: love stinks. arid workds.

word to the wiser: when spills are at their worst, bounty's at its best.

you live, you learn, and then you forget everything that just happened and fall asleep.

what is love anyways? I am starting to think its all just an illusion.

I was reading the intro of a book today. Its called "choosing Gods Best" its a book directed at singles before and after dating or thinking about dating. One concept that really stuck out was... people often go crazy thinking that theyre doing the right thing. but its not the God thing. its not God's plan for them. I have to wait and have faith that God will put someone special in my life. maybe they are there, maybe I dont even know them. I dont know anything. brett said he would wait for me. but i hope he can change that mentality. he is going by what he wants, instead of what God's already planned. I love him. and thats not going to go away over night because this isnt just my decision. he didnt screw up anything. he could have been perfect and done everything he thinks he did wrong right... and still, this still would be happening. because its not about those things. its about me and God and what he wants for me.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i read a diary i really probably shouldnt have even considered reading. and now Im crying and im stupid and im going to bed.

by the way. i really think he should throw that notebook i made him away. its gonna build up crazy emotions and hurt... its only going to make him sad and thats never a good thing. sad is bad. get glad? anyways. ah. bye. i really am going to bed now.