Merry Christmas. It didn't feel like Christmas this year. It never really does. But it started to once we got the package from Tim's mom with our gifts last week. She always gets me the best gifts. She really tries to figure out what I would really like. She got me a juicer (which I've been wanting) and really cute grey with pink and green striped pajamas and pink and green socks :) She knows I love pink and green. Oh yeah and $50! Then Tim's grandma gave us $100 each! I'm still not used to it. I feel weird every time they give me money. But it also makes me feel good. Like part of the family.
Tim got me a video camera! I mentioned a while ago that I wanted one for the obvious reason.. for the future when/if we have babies, for trips, etc. but more specifically to use to record myself practice monolouges. Its a touch screen! It is also super light. I love it! He also got me a wireless speaker. Its really cool because i was using our old wired speakers all the time and its a pain because the cords get tangled and look ugly. I made french toast and cheese eggs for a late breakfast and then for dinner I cooked a tiny ham, mashed potatoes and green bean casserole while Timmy watched the nuggets game. Then we played Black Ops and after that we watched the newest Wolverine movie. We're always #1 and #2 when we play together.
I've been getting the urge to play Kingdom Hearts agaiin lately. I never finished it.
Tim went to bed because he has to get up early but I wasnt tired so i was going to try to figure out once and for all what language to learn (or learn more). I had a million pages open of all sorts of forums for programmers giving all sorts of advice. But i think this poster pretty much sums up my hesitation thus far:
"I think this whole idea that the first language you use can "corrupt" you or something is an overblown myth created by Dijkstra's offhand comment "It is practically impossible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration". That was a tongue-in-cheek comment bashing the language itself. People have taken it to mean "OMG I DONT WANT TO LOSE MY VIRGIINITY 2 DA WRONG LANGUAGE!" Then the programming community makes it worse by making someone who played around with BASIC feel bad about it by rolling out Dijkstra's stupid quote all the time.
I suggest learning any language that's practical, but keep an open mind."
That was exactly my dilema. I've been so worried I would choose wrong that I haven't chosen anything. This is actually a problem I have with most decisions. I need to often remind myself to stop worrying and asking why or why not and just DO. SOMETHING. ANYTHING. I was talking to Tim about this a couple days ago about a different problem but same situation.. and he said pretty much that I need to try and its okay if I fail. He said he doesn't understand my fear of failure. And he brought up the quote about Micheal Jordan and failure. "I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeeded." I knew the quote because it was on the bathroom wall at OFL. Its hard to apply it to yourself though. It really does take a strong person to keep telling the world off and saying "yes I know you think I am that and all evidence points to that but i am actually this even though you have no proof". I'm working on not caring about what people think. I'm no psychologist but if I had to guess.. I would say my fear of failure has to do with nothing ever being good enough for my mother.. her always choosing to defend and glorify everyone, especially Jason, even complete strangers over me. I would say that probably has at least something to do with it.
Back to programming: I have a new hero. Ada Lovelace. Apparently she is allegedly the very first programmer.. ever. A girl! That's inspiring. I just read that little bit about her but I want to learn more about her. She will most likely become a new obsession.
So about what language to learn next... I think I might just dive right into C++. I know HTML5, CSS, JavaScript and some PHP. I was considering learning and being as comfortable and competent with PHP as possible before learning C++ but.. honestly I've forgotten a lot of what I learned about PHP.. i took the class too long ago and everyone says its really easy to go from C++ to PHP.. but theres a lot of different views on going from PHP to C++. One person said that going from C++ to PHP would be really difficult. or unnecessarily difficult. And others said it would make it easier. My question though is.. if in fact it would make it more difficult going from PHP to C++.. would that be more difficult than just learning C++ without any programming knowlege at all? I'm thinking any knowledge at all of a language somewhat close would bring something good to the table. And I don't think I've gotten deep enough into PHP to really have picked up any "bad habits". I don't think it matters.. I guess I'll just learn C++ based on the comment above and another stating that if you ever for any reason want to code more than web pages.. learn C++ first. My worry is perhaps I've gottent too comfortable in the development world that if I wander too far into programming land my head will explode and body will turn into mush.
There was a really good job at princess cruises a few weeks ago. They dont have it posted anymore though.. it would have been perfect.
In other news I've really enjoyed having Jefri around. He's been staying at my moms.. we chose to leave him there when we went to Bakersfield for 5 months because she has a big back yard and he likes to sit under the rose bushes. But being out there all day meant he was isolated most of the time. And Jefri isn't like other buns. He is used to attention. Even when we moved back to my moms last month it was hard spending time with him since he was outside all day. But since we moved into this place I've had him in his small cage in the kitchen because its too cold outside.. I've been worried he'll miss being able to run around on the grass at my moms but i think he prefers our company more. Yesterday he was making scary breathing noises so i scratched his head for almost an hour. He was so relaxed he fell asleep and started snoring. I do wish he had some grass to play in though. I might try to make a grass patch for the porch but I need plastic crates and I cannot find them anywhere.