Yesterday hanging out with Rahm and Casey was fun. We were gonna do headshots but we got Shabu and mochi instead. Rahm had a meeting and was running on no sleep and it was overcast so we figured another day would be better anyways. even tho overcast is actually better for the diffused light. But it was a little tooo overcast.

I life the band Fireflight. I heard them on Pandora radio. On my Paramore channel. Forever and Unbreakable are cool. I wanna learn the drums to them.

Tim said Shane told Lenny that he got my resume. He said that Shane thought it was really good. So good that he was going to personally take it to the "higher ups". That was the other day. like a day or 2 ago.. Havent heard anything but I really think I could get this. And it would be amazing. Kinda intimidating but I could handle it. I hope we hang out with Lennyand Ryan more. Especially Lenny, I like him. He's one of Timmy's nicest cousins.

I'm tired. I don't wanna sleep tho. I went to bed at 7. it was supposed to be a nap. slept till 2:30 and couldnt go back to bed. I played COD. and then i watched tv. I watched that movie Drop Dead Fred. I used to love it when I was younger. Now I remember why. Her mom was a jerk. I could relate. The only difference is.. even after how horrible her mom was to her.. she hugs her at the end and means it. I dunno. Its just a movie. I guess its called acting for a reason because I don't think you could just forget that easily. And if you could, congratulations, you are a robot.

My mom sent me an email again. She said she was going to call me. She never replied to my response. Like weeks ago. I don't understand people that do that. They send you something and you respond.. and tey never respond. And then weeks later she sends me an email expecting.. what? another warm welcome. She said she didn't know how to respond.. ok so say that. don't just not respond. I've been told I'm rude enough to know when someone is rude and that's rude. Especially when she makes everyone think I tell her to stay away when she is the one not responding. I respond to everything. and in a reasonable amount of time. she might not like what i say or agree or misinterpret but i respond. She said i tell her to stay away. the only thing i ever say is i dont want a relationship if she wont listen. and by her saying i just dont want her around obviously means she just wont listen. she cant even read correctly.

My head hurts. I haven't been able to sleep through the night lately. I used to sleep like a log. Well I still do.. its impossible to wake me up when I'm out. But lately i wake up every like couple hours. Its not cool. My doctor told me to take melatonin. A vitamin that promotes sleep. He has me on cymbalta right now. Tim says too expensive. It is. But my doctor says he doesn't want me to worry about that right now. He says its working and thats what is important. He gave me a month of free samples and a coupon for 2 weeks of free samples from the pharmacy. So that's cool. I have felt a lot better. But I want to see someone. I feel ready to talk about everything and anything to someone. I want to get it all out. I want to do it before we start having babies. And I want babies soon. And I think that talking will help with the depression and then i wont need pills. I don't want to be taking anything when I have kids. My doctor said he doesn't want me on Cymbalta when I'm pregnant anyways and to tell him when we start trying to have kids. Problem is, I dunno who the ef to talk to. I thought my psychologist, the one that diagnosed me with Aspergers would be good. But i think she is more of a child psychologist. like child and family. So. I dunno. Tim's insurance isn't that great right now too. I need a job.A permanent stable job.

Casey bought a bunch of stuff today. spending all sorts of money. and not once mentioned paying me back the money i lent him. he said that was like 1st on his list a week ago. i don't want to hassle him but I'm getting kinda annoyed that he's gonna make me ask him.

I have a headache.