whoa a whole month almost and no entries.. weird.

Been so busy. unmotivated..

but thats going to change now that I quit my job finally. i hated that job. too much disrespect. my boss was horrible. i didn't think i could have a worse boss after working for whatshisface at my last job.. i think thats why i lasted so long at this job. but no one should have to put up with that. he was annoyed that i asked for a pay increase. and more annoyed that he had to give it to me because he really didnt have a choice. even with the pay increase i was still being under paid for what i was doing. And to confirm those feelings.. i was searching for a new job on craiglist last night and actually found from them looking for someone to fill my old job. I know because of the job title, the tasks and it was in agoura hills.. the pay was $15-40 an hour.. when i started i was making 15.. my pay increase was to 20... but 40? wtf... he was willing to pay $40!!! seriously...for the same exact job!! Nothing different was added like it would make sense if he added programming experience and stuff.. but he actually put "flash and actionscript a plus" like not even necessary.. and I did flash and actionscript.. and thats like a huge part of the job. I made 18 flash ads in 1 day once! And he is willing to pay a person 40 for 60% of the job i did? even $20, what i was makinig for 60% of that job is like wtf... i was at constant war with myself thinking i was being taken advantage of vs no no its a small company and theyjust dont have the budget to pay more. BULL SHIT. they actually are not a small company... idk why i thought that. just because they dont have many workers in the office.. they are a nationwide company. meredith told me a couple months ago that they dont pay well and its good that i was looking for a new job.it just pisses me off that in our last meeting he was just angry that he was losing someone he could take such advantage of and said that i had a bad attitude. i think my attitude was very professional at work and as professional someone could be after hours of condescending and ridiculous bullshit for crap pay and hard stressful work environment. not to mention its even harder because of the social atmosphere and always having to be chatty and interested in other people. which is fine if i was like a sales associate but i had to much effing work to do for people to be coming in and out of my office trying to shoot the breeze.not good at that nonsense anyways. where did the expressions "there is a time and place" go? And where is peoples work ethic? WHen you are at work.. work.. i don't get it. I am a good worker.. why is it so hard to find a job that appreciates that? Maybe i should stop focusing on learning programming and computer crap and just try to be a fake chat machine and maybe then they'll hire me because I'm likeable.. and have a crappy worker.. i think thats what jobs want nowadays.. a bunch of crappy workers.. but they justify their crappy picks with the fact that they are "nice". its not even real nice. like tina. what a fake. i cant even get into tina. and johns wife. and that racist lady. they are all fake and caddy and annoying. if thats what you have to be like to get a job then i am going to be unemployed for a long time.

I'm angry about the situation i was in and how i was treated and i hate being unemployed, espeically when it affects timmy so much :( I'm also angry because i know he was getting worse because he wanted me to quit to avoid having to pay unemployment. what a jerk.

but overall... I'm happy with the decision. I am so less stressed even though I'm still really stressed.. but i was so stressed before that i as getting sick. my old boss didn't understand how stress affects my body. he thinks i was making excuses. but now i have a lot of time to write and research and organize my movie. i know people think its stupid. but its going to happen.And now I have more time to dedicate to my diet. and excercise. and baby making. :) ANd prestiging. and learning python and javascript. and playing with Moose before he gets old and ugly. AWWW he was SO snuggly last night. he was JUST like a teddy bear and purring and happy :) i love him so mUCH! he's my baby bird.

hung out with sal and steph on sunday. Paige is so funny! she calls us Fairy and Tim lol. Sometimes Fairy and Jim. haha. steph said he might try that 6 week makeover diet with me. she's a type c. i was hoping she was an e. i dont want to ask my mom for the info.. so im probably going to get the book from the library and photo copy it. my mom doesn't get that its rude not to respond to messages. especially for 2 weeks without even saying its going to take long because your her last priority. so i decided.. fine. I'm not responding to her messages either. she sent me one about someone dying and something about the bunnies. 1st of all.... who tell someone about a funeral over facebook? and second.. no screw it.. i don't even care anymore. I'm over that whole "wah I don't have a mommy or family" bullshit. suck it up. move on. i have enough to deal with.

last week me and casey hung out and we made 8bit characters for our youtube channel. we have yet to film. also hoping that will start going somewhere now that he has a little more time with his new job and i have a lot of more time with my no job.