soooo huh.
alot has happened.
and yet. nothing at all.
ha. well. basically i still hate being here. here as in this god forsaken house. my mother= crazy psycho nazi. she's too much. but lately. i just havent cared. not cuz of the pills. its been like that since i moved back. like.. i just blow her off now. instead of try and argue. i dont know whats worse. but it seems to really piss her off. i hate how that makes me feel bad. cuz if i could, i would be happy about it.
i love tim. we've been having some hard times. but all relationships have their ups and downs. we had a little bit of a fight kinda thing tonight. but not really. when i think fight i think yelling. we never yell or anything. so thats good. we talked and stuff and finally worked things out. sometimes all you need is to be held. to know everything is okay. so, things are better as of now. with the timmy. and i think they'll continue in that direction. i love him. he goes to colorado for a week on sunday. saddness.
manuels gonna be going home on sunday. so i'll reeeeeally be alone. not just in my head.
Ive been on prosac pills for exactly 1 week. after week 2= actually changes. oi. its scary to think of. its also confusing. sometimes i DO think i think too much. i feel like i have multiple personalities sometimes. cuz my opinions about nearly everything change drasically like every 5 seconds. its weird. and i sometimes think.. maybe i shouldnt be taking these pills. i mean, what does that nurse know? she met with me like twice. how does she know what i need after only 2 meetings? but she's a professional right? and she really does seem to genuinely care. she even gave me her cell. and she never gives that out to anyone. so i mean.. i know she wouldnt intentionally try to harm me. but its scary. to know things are about to change. and know you might not be able to change em. even if they turn out wrong. cuz the new you might thing wrong= right. i confuse myself. whatever i guess i'll just see what happens.
my brother is a jerk.
the cake frosting was good.
math homework= a must do.
OH yeah! when i was with tim... after our talk thing dude.. he said he wanted to take dance lessons. like swing or salsa stuff. cool HUH? yeah. ive always wanted to do that kind of stuff but i never could. and he said he actually wants to. i hope he reallllly wants to. i think he does. so when he gets back from colorado, were gonna start doing that. wooten tooten. he said he's been thinking about it for a week! it felt good to know he was thinking of that for a week.. especially this week. so yeah. good stuff with that.
money. oi. i cant even talk about money.its sooo stressful i cant even bare it. so moving on.....
saw donovan today. that was cool. missed him. he said i looked good. that was nice. since lately ive felt soo blah.
grif at work makes me feel good about myself. he's always saying what a great job im doing and complimenting me on everything. its nice to be encouraged. especially at a job like that. i hope the other people working there recognize how hard i work too. or at least the effort.
im trying to give up fast food and useless carbs. like white bread. and no salt or sugar... sugar is probably the hardest. i havent been dooing to great giving that up. but at least a littlee.
me and tim saw benchwarmers. sooo funny. watch it. you=laugh. muchly. oh man.
k. imma sleep. bye.
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