On Sunday, Timmy rented a truck and we went and picked up the big stuff i left at my house. My brother was home. My mom wasnt. When we were leaving, he was also leaving.. and he said to me "do me a favor and call mom so she knows your ok". And Im thinking... uh why?? She was the one who told me to leave. she told me to "make plans[to live somewhere else]" (her favorite phrase when talking to me). She kicks me out and now she wants me to reassure her that i am "ok"... Well im not ok. Im far from it and she's never been one to help change that. So why would i call her? Jason saw me... if being alive and capable to function is considered "ok" then he can tell my mother that Im A-ok. Why do I have to give her a call just to get an ice cold greeting and end with a fight? He said "do you even know what happened 2 weeks ago".. he was reffering to matt phyler. he said that that kind of thing makes people think about family and stuff. and that it would be nice if before its too late i would make amends with my mother. First of all.... I dont need something as tragic as what matt did to knock some common sense into me.. to get me to finally think of my family. its sad to think that some people DO need that big of a push to finally make them feel any sort of real compassion for the people they care about. And secondly, make amends with my mother??? is he kidding? he needs to look in a dictionary and see what that word means before he tells me i havent tried... amend v. amended, amending, amends v. tr. 1. To change for the better; improve 2. To remove the faults or errors in; correct. 3. To alter formally by adding, deleting, or rephrasing. why did i come back home in the first place? I was living with my boyfriend and i knew it was wrong and i move back for myself yeah, but also for her. If thats not trying to make amends i dont know what is. If thats not trying to redeem myself.. then tell me cuz i'd like to know.. I moved back cuz i thought it was the right thing to do. I thought she would be proud of me.. lol. wow.. now i know that that is too much to ask. ever. she is never satisfied. I tried to "make amends with my mother", and she made it hell. And I dunno about anyone else, but i just dont preffer to live in hell. So When she said to leave... I left. And now "my mother" wants to know if im ok.. a mother is supposed to be there for her children and help them thru life... my so-called mother does not do any that.... i dont have a mother. I wrote that in a myspace blog. i hope jason reads it. or my mom. jerks. I hate when people name their entry titles stupid things. uhg. jerk. timmy got my ipod to work again! yay! o man im excited :) I have the day off today. this time lamont called me. that was good. i wouldnt have wanted to drive alllllllll the way over there for nothing. for the 3rd time. bleh. but hmm.. i gotta go to saugus anyways soo it wouldnt have been tooo bad. i gotta get the little stuff i left. hopefully no one is home. bbl. Im gonna go eat. pick up my stuff and then play sims until tim comes home. bbl. again.