I was talking to Gio today.. he's on Call of Duty now.. he told me how and it was pretty lame... they were yelling at him for something stupid so he said he quit but they didn't want him to so they put him on a new project... COD.. Over a stupid rumor about this girl dressing inappropriately.. so gay. 1. its not even true. and 2. who cares? and 3. those boys gossip more than anyone i know so why were they all mad about it? anyways.. we were talking and idk how it was brought up but Gio was asking me what I've been doing and i said looking for a job and he said i should call and ask to come back because GH is full and I would probably get on COD.. hmmmm... the drive sucks but it would be fun to see everyone again... and be on COD and not GH... and there's no more construction on the 118. and no stupid Dan.. hmm. decisions. I think they're working on map pack 3??? i dunno tho....
I'll sleep on it.
lol bayside... oh how i love you.. "call me when you're dead". this is like my favorite band right now... i want to have babies with their lyrics. awkward...
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what an uneventful day.. lol.
omgshh.
"Drink up beautiful;
I spiked your cup with angst, and a heart attack.
I've got so much trapped and it's all because of you.
So i figured you might like some back;"
Don't call me Peanut, Bayside my lover.. i hear ya.
i would like to disappear for a while. i already feel like i am floating. Its not fair. all these movies. with places. people escaping... I want to go. Not forever.. just need to clear my head. I need to get my shit together or something. I need someone, something to shake me until I'm not screwed up anymore. I thought it was universally known that just knowing.. or admitting or whatever was the first step.. ok.. so what's the second step? is there one? why don't they ever finish the thought??? if it was supposed to end at the 1st step then they wouldn't call it a step.. it'd just be.. the thing. the rule. the solution, there we go. not steps. the solution to this problem is admitting ur screwed up ok.. but no. its not that simple. because it isn't a solution, its a step.. linked to blankness. I can't keep blaming him. I'm capable of making my own decisions and I suck. at life. I fail.. at everything I attempt. why?
i know that.. i want to change it.. i really do. how?? how! I'm so weak and stupid and lame. and uhg. I'm just a dumbie. I'm kinda useless... what a waste of a person huh? what am i here for? omg now I'm just being gay.......................
nothing.
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