So Later has arrived...

So I go to school which is completely pointless and utterly (haha utters) retarded.. I'm sitting in OR with TheLesbian and I am telling her I am leaving and she has this thing for me so she was all sad and then at brunch we (me and TheLesbian) go to find Spatula. And she always looks so happy that first second when she walks up to me in the morning and I cant help but smile brgihter than I do all day in that one instant, every morning. And I stalled on telling her it was my last day cuz I wanted to walk around like we always do and be weird and random with happiness one last time before I completely ruin everything. And then we walk by AwesomePantsand I tell her and I dont like to cry infront of people so when Im on the verge of crying I make a joke about it and start laughing. And I act like I am going to cry just joking but really I really am about to cry.. so I am acting all weird and Spatula didnt know what to do...And I swear we are the weirdest people I know. We just start dancing. And TheLesbian is singing soap opera music in the backgrund and it was the funniest saddest thing ever and AwesomePants who has only started hanging out wth us recently and becoming a very good friend actually, just stood there and laughed at us. And I said bye to some of the roamers. I am gonna miss HarryPotter the most. (besides Spatula that is)It was weird TheTallOne hugged me.. TheTallOne hates me.. it was almost beautiful. Then I went to video class with Spatula and we read her diary and (idots name here)is an idiot and he doesnt even know it. Then I went and got IN-N-OUT!!! i bought the shake for Spatula but I ended up drinking some of it myself... even though Im lactose intolerant.. who can resist a milkshake? cmon now. So then I just go to the library. And after I go to strategy I love that class. Darm it! I wanted to finish this semester just for that class... o well. So at lunch I say goodbye again to HArry and all them. And HArryPotter gave me m&m's and Shirley told him to give me more cuz it was my last day. But! I didn't say bye to CombatBoots.. I have to go find that kid I am gonna miss him the second mostest. And Ben. And TubTub.. even LittleRacist. but not Crutches. he is obnoxiously stupid and annoying. So then I went home. I feel so awful. I feel like I let Spatula down. I am supposed to alway be there for her. and I always will but Im not THERE there. She's the only one who can make me happy no matter what. Even vannessa cant do that. Maybe my brother but he isnt here and now Spatula isnt either. And its all my fault. We're never going to see each other. There is no interaction at OFL and all the kids are kinda cooky... and she will get a new best friend and we'll drift apart. It always happens to me. I cant keep friends. And it was just normal before but I dont want to lose Spatula. Or KetchupBottle. but Vannessa has Jamie and Haley and all them.. she's already moving on. I feel annoying to her lately. i feel like shes faking our friendship.. I dunno. Anyways. Spatula is my other half.. and I will miss her very much. hfdgkjsdabf. i hate this. It was supposed to be a good thing. yesterday I was thinking positive about it all. And it worked but today nothing feels positive or right. I write too much.. but I have nothing better to do.