Its over. over with the caring. over with the wondering. over with the boys. over with the love. over with this diary. for now. but everything will just have to be put on hold cuz it's all just over. I dunnoo.. I just dont care. well, deep down I kinda do. But really i just am so sick of relationships. seriously they are a waste of time and heartache will only come from them. I am going back to my old self. the self I liked. MEEEEEEEE! before andres. before brett. before that stupid rop class. before eric. before derek. before i cared what a boy thought about me. and i just wanted to laugh at myself and i dunno.. jump in a fountain in the winter. o the good old times. I wouldnt go as far as to jump in a fountain since i kinda grew out of that. But Im gonna go and be ME and have fun and feel good. I'm going to be close to God and love it like I used to. I dont know what happened to me. But its ok. it doesnt matter now. none of it matters now. Cuz i dont want any of it. I just want to be me and have fun and bring glory to God and yeah. and if thats not good enough for someone... I really dont care. ya know? i also think I might just go home. I am done with my mothers nonsense. so i will give in and give her what she wants and just try and do what i can, if anything, to make things better. oi. easier sad than done. besides that... I have girl friends:) yay. kim is really cool and jen and dean (since they kind come as a combo) and then I saw my old friend kim (dude, whats with the kims?) and all my old friends. And Alex! i missed that kid. I havent seen him in sooo long. he still hangs out with all the asians. I told him it was cool but he did not agree. he got taller and his voice changed. Im the same. I didnt see david but everyone says that he acts very homosexual. even more so than before... and he has a really hot gf. go figure. kimmy said that caitlin is a C now. lol its kinda sad that the first thing someone says about caitlin is about her chesticle size and she's only 14, almost. but they also said she got mean and materialistic. im so happy for kimmy. it sounds like she finally found a guy who really desires to respect her. They all didnt go to disneyland on saturday.. rain. but they're still going so Im still invited. hope I can go. I wanna see jessica and shelby. i miss shelby. well. nothing more to say.