holy shoes! I just wrote a huge! HUGE! private entry about everything I was thinking, all my feelings at that moment...and it got erased... all of it.. I think I'm going to kill something. GRRRRRR! Anywho.. brett left about an hour ago. I feel kinda weird. I don't really know why... I hate being a girl. heh... emotions scare me. Anyways, I just think somethings wrong, but I'm never right and everything is most likely fine. I went to church today. it was cool. They talked about purity and what it meas to be pure and it made me feel good that I can be pure again. All the girls got white roses with little purple flowers... jake ate one of my flowers. and then i did. note to self: do not eat purple flowers. Brett came over. He talked to the mother. I dont know what they talked about but i have a creepy feeling like it wasn't good.. i dont know but my mom was acting weird and brett was acting..different...distant. I dont think he meant to but it seemed like he couldnt help it. I think I kinda might have an idea of one of the many things they could have talked about.. hmm.... Maybe i am just a stupid girl who reads too much into things and everything is fine.. yeah. everything is fine. i hope he calls me tonite. anywho i called vannessa but she had to go before I could really say anything, but that ok. jerry maguire is a funny movie. nora jones didnt know why she didnt come. my brother didnt call me today. He told my mom he would but he probably got busy or couldn't. I really want to talk to him. I miss him so much.