i feel like I've been Christmas shopping all week and I only have 2 presents :[ well 3 but 1 wont get here till on or a day after Christmas because i couldn't decide if i wanted to buy it online or not.. bah. and then i decided i couldn't buy it offline.. not like it was impossible. i just couldn't heh. how Timmy got all his Christmas shopping done in one day AND wrapped!!! is just crazy mysteries. I could have had the dumb stores had what I wanted in stock! boo to stores. last night i went to bed in the morning. at like 8am. heh. i was up all night being angry. and then i finally talked myself into going to sleep. i laid in bed for a little bit and stared at the wall. i looked over at Timmy and he was looking at me. and we talked and then he went to work and i went to sleep until almost 3:30! i wanted to get up at 11. but my phone fell under my pillow and i couldn't hear it. so then i call Tim and we're talking about the Brett thing and then I ask what i should say to him.. if anything. and he told me to be like "what would even make you think its ok to contact me?" and yell at him and whatknot. but i told him that's no use because when Brett is backed into a corner he just goes under your arm and leaves. he is a coward and always will be. Tim had to go and I called Brett and asked him what he expected. not such a loaded question, like he took it. just, what did he expect me to say? why did he think it was ok? did he think i just forgot how much i hate him? did he think I'd just be happy to hear from him? of course he never answers he just says "ok I'm sorry I said anything". no you're not you son of a bitch. I just wonder, is it just me? or is he like that with everyone in his life? and if he does treat everyone like this. no he couldn't tho.. even if he did its not the same because no one he knows has been in the same sort of relationship we were in so any way you look at it, its not the same. I told Tim about the conversation and Tim just hates the guy. almost as much as I do. I told Timmy how i thought maybe it was a guy thing. like how he was acting.. but its not. because Tim gets it and I can not even picture ANY other guy i know acting like that. by the way he wears womens underwear. and he stole a pair of mine once. just in case any of his friends ever stumbled on to this. that's Brett warren. panties wearer. when we don't talk, he masturbates (or at least he did) to my myspace pictures while i was seeing someone else.. and told me about it! that's how sick he is. he shaved his nose. yuck. he doesn't wear underwear and he farts a lot so his jeans would always smell like ass. his whole body would actually. but mostly his jeans. he took the slow classes in school. because he is mentally challenged and I am not trying to be mean, its just true. he is slow and he has some sort of mental disorder.. he calls it short term memory but its more than that. i think its slight retardation. again not a joke, just my take on it. there's more. a lot more. but. that's good for now. I showed Tim his myspace and we had some good laughs at all his pictures. anywho. my cousin Erycka sent me a message on myspace. I missed her. Speaking of family sending random messages.. my Aunt Suzy sent a ym saying "hi from Amelia" but i was in the other room. that's actually when i was talking to Brett in the other room. So when i got back she already left. but she said we love you so much. so i guess we're cool. I mean I'm cool with her. can't see why she wouldn't be cool with me. My mom is so.. she makes people out to be something they aren't and spreads the word to everyone! she did it to me, and she did it to my aunt suzy. saying "yeah she's cool with you now but don't piss her off or she'll go crazy on you too". and she swears by it. and then we did get into a bit of an argument or whatever it was a few months ago. but i don't think my aunt suzy is like my mom says. she is a reasonable person. at least more than my mom tells people. she knows that Alisha got all bitchy at me more than once for absolutely no reason. when i have done nothing but be there for that kid. when she's crying out for help and saying "i'm here" and being genuinely interesting in her life. and then out of nowhere she is insane. and so i called her a slut. it was inappropriate but at least i had a reason freak out.. because she was freaking out. but what was her reason? and i think my aunt gets it. something my mom needs to learn... look at someones behavior. not how much you care about them. today i got a package from my mom. a Christmas present. i don't understand them. they can't just buy my affection or make me forget with presents, money. i want so much more. maybe for Christmas she should find me a nice counselor who can tell me how to deal with my family and make them respect me. she thinks that solves the problem? so easy isn't it? we'll Jeni isn't coming to Christmas because Jason is an asshole but instead of actually dealing with that, I'll just send her a present and everything will be fine. lame. and in the meantime, condone his actions by supporting him and standing up for him. who does she think she is? Brett? i love the hills. season finale tonight. good stuff. almost cried. I'm kinda gay. i thought my boobs were bigger.. but sometimes girls have uneven boobs.. and i think i did sort of in a way, not drastically. only noticeable to like.. myself. and maybe Tim.. but today they are the same size. hmm. how bout that! OK OK more shopping!!!