Today sucked. I woke up at 11 and just laid in my bed for 45 minutes.. not sleeping. not thinking. just there. Apparently I am grounded so I just played drums for about 2 hours cuz I was going to anyways. Then I took a shower and played some more drums. And cleaned a little. it was actually a good day until 5.

Last night i went to the taping of grounded for life with Vannessa and Jenae and my rop class. I was going to tell Daniel how I cant like him. Or just not yet. and also until he stops doing all the crap he does.. well the dude came to the show drunk... yeah so I didn't tell him obviously and I have like no respect for him at all. But I mean i do still like him so I wanted to know if he got home safe.. so today at like 5 i called and I said i was just calling to see if he was ok. And he started talking to me.. and we talked a little and I really didnt want to talk. well i did but i didnt because I like him and I dont want to and I said "well, I really did just call to see if you were ok". And his voice completely changed from a happy Daniel voice to this blah mad or sad one of those and he said ok. i'll talk to you later kinda like a question but not really.. and i said yeah. and I dont remember if i said bye.. I want to call him back and talk to him but i cant. i cant like someone like that. This rop class is kinda turning into a nightmare. its funny HAHA!

heh, so I thought taking a walk would clear my head of all the nonsense I have been thinking this week..

It did quite the opposite.. i just want to be happy again.. i want it to be real happy, and not like fake pretend stupid happy..

At about 6:30 my mom goes to a meeting, and at 6:45 I take a walk and figure why not walk to Vannessa's house. WHy not? because it's like an hour walk.. so I am going and it was nice. I was kinda happy. And then I get to her house and she isn't home. And I realize she must be at work. why I didnt realize this before I have no idea. I was bummed cuz when I am in a crap mood she listens to me and makes me feel better, helps me sort through my problems. And I couldnt get a hold of Spatula all day so i couldnt talk to her either. So I start walking back home.. and i have a thing about watching people. Like in their cars and if they look sad I make up little stories why their sad and such and its fun.. but i wasnt doing that I was just walking and then I got bored and I said to myself that the next car that passes I will look in and such.. the next car that passed started honking as it passed me and continued even when I couldnt see it.. and I look at the car and it looked just like the bad persons car.. and i think it was because I dunno it always seems like he wants me to see him when he see's me.. and it completely creeped me out.. so i was like whoa thatd be creepier if it went around and parked down at the stop light cuz all those streets are connected and if he was following me thats what he'd do.. So Im getting closer to the stoplight and theres a light around the corner and i figured it was just a street light but there was no street light there and i turned the corner and theres a car parked.. just waiting. And it had its brights on so I couldnt see if it was the same car cuz i just glanced, all i saw was a figure of a guy. And i wan to think it wasnt him, but i mean who just randomly parks on the side of the road... and its creepy especialy cuz I was thinking he would do that and he did..if it was him... now I am going to be parinoid forever.

But on a happy note! I am over Steven... and its kinda cool how i did it. So the kid breaks my little heart BUT breaking someones heart is the most horrible thing you could do to someone and thats not attractive. Like if a guy is cute but he likes a girl you think is a slut or something, i dunno just the fact that he would like something like that is so unattractive.. so breaking someones heart, worst mine, is completely unattractive and if I am not attracted to him then I dont like him and I dont care that he broke my heart because the feelings are gone and I can move on and be his friend.. if he'd stop acting so weird and actually be like before.

I talked to my brother today. woot.

I had ravioli for dinner.

Does anybody know the song bitchen camero by the dead milkmen??? I love that song.

I am eating honey nut cheerio's! what do you thinks better.. soggy cheerios or crunchy cheerios? I cant decide.