I don't want to make timmy feel like nothing is ever good enough. Because I don't like when people make me feel that way. And I don't think I do it in general.. but i did yesterday. It wasn't on purpose. Everything came out wrong. I was just trying to talk about things because i was sad.. and I just ended up making him feel bad. When he is trying to do things right.. and we're getting married this weekend. And he's been acting really excited about it. And I am too. I've just been feeling a little scared. Not about how I feel. I can't picture myself with anyone else. now or in 10 years or 50 years. Its not about my feelings.. just have left over reservations about his feelings. he said that saying stuff isn't going to make me believe it any more.. so he wants to show me.
the other day timmy said he thinks I am wonderful, even when we are upset with each other. me too. Actually I've felt that way for a while. its nice to know he feels the same. woot.
Were going to san francisco tonight. I still need to pack but we have no clean clothes. So today is laundry day. unfortunately we don't get our washer and dryer delivered until wednesday. so i have to use the laundry mat :[
last night we realized we're going to be gone 4 days! and jefri will be alone on the porch! we thought we could just leave out tons of food and water.. but jefri is stupid.. and kinda a piggy.. he'll just eat and drink it all the first day and then die.. :[ so i was thinking i'd just drop him off at my moms house and not tell her. like call and say "hey i got the check.. oh and by the way..." i mean i could call. but its so ridiculous to ask her to do anything. it always has to be so difficult. tim even said if i ask she's just going to say something like "oh now u need my help" or "why should i help i?" or something lame.
I have to go to canyon country right now. my aunt suzy is picking up our old couches today. i hope she has a helper. i don't feel like lifting anything :/
well thats all for now...
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