its a new day.

i've gotten a few calls from an unknown since yesterday and it was probably brett. but when i answered once. he hung up. wtf is his problem?

i don't know if its just who i am regardless of my aspergers or if thats the reason but.. i need to know everything. i think its because most of the time i am so confused by everything, and people and why they do the things they do. i become obsessed with wanting to know details and the truth and its impossible to let it go. i know people who dont have AS would say, no you can control it... no.. really. i cant. i wish i could. anyways. so thats the reason i've been so upset since i talked to brett. upset in my head. i know how much it annoys timmy. ok ok and some upset out of my head.. i've talked to him about it and how i just want to know why he called me, why he ignored me. so i haven't stopped calling him since saturday. and he hadn't stopped ignoring my calls. until this morning.. finally answered. he didn't talk for like 20 seconds and then he said "im sorry"... really? ha. he knows me enough to know i need answers. if he was sorry he would have filled the first 20 seconds with explainations instead of silence. i dont know if its because i was half asleep or because i didn't expect him to answer after the millionth call but instead of all my questions and yelling at him until i lost my voice like i planned... the only thing i could get out was "i hate you". i think that was good enough though. even though i am left with unanswered questions and confusion... i'm satisfied with what i said. i think timmy already answered all my questions and that should be good enough. especially since this weekend proved that i dont know that person at all. and obviously everything he says is a lie. so why do i need to hear "the truth" from him anyway? where better than the only person who i can actually trust in this world? timmy. so thats the end of this. yeah i said that before but thats when i didn't expect him to answer. i am done worrying about this and him and letting it take up my time and thoughts. he can keep pushing people away and isolating himself and being in denial all he wants. not my problem.

anyways, so in actual news that isn't ridiculous...

went to see xmen with chase and monica. it was really cool i liked it.. kinda cheesy but thats to be expected from comic book movies.. i really liked it though, i'm ok with cheesy. and i love james mcavoy too :) he's sexy.

saw this one movie with sal and steph. forgot the name. it had ryan gosling and kirsten dunst in it.. so i expected it to be good.. nope. ryan gosling is usually really good.. i mean he was ok.. but he's usually in better movies. lately he's been in really weird movies with no point. i like independent films but cmon... give a story an ending. so disappointing.

its so annoying... i am like completely un interested in video games. it comes in waves like seasons.. i'll be completely obsessed with playing and play all night or day and then.. i dont even want to turn them on. which sucks because we just got la noire but i have no interest in playing it right now. same thing happened with black ops. didnt play it till like a month or 2 after it came out. and then i couldn't stop.

fruit smoothies are yummy.

i want a baby.

i want a house.

i should get a job.

i wonder if my orders are at walmart yet.

i cant wait to go on vacation :)